Tuesday, October 28, 2003

this was not the plan

the social workers are tyring thier best to keep the brothers together, in our home.

this is our life, and we had no idea of these issues. when we went into adoption, we werent planning on this. These behaviors are apparently all new since his arrival with us.

again, its not up to the adoption agency, its up to us if we can parent the child.

I know the child is with us for reason. we discussed parenting this childeven if he needs to be in residential for a very lonig time, due to he is unstable to ever return to a normal family life, which we will do.

If they feel that he doesnt need residential, that he needs to be with his brother, and we cannot parent them both, we will give both children up.

IF we feel that it is better for the children to be seperated from each other in two different families, then we will do that.

basically, we are trying to figure out whats best for both children and for us. We can not go on the way we were going. when our son went for medical clearence before he was admitted yesterday, the psych that cleared him said that was one of the fastest evaluations he has ever done, the child needs residential.

as much as i knew this, that hurt me more then i can tell you. I wasnt prepared for a statment like that. But the fact is, it was the truth, i guess i never wanted to really believe that he was this ill. as im sure most parents feel.

even the child said he didnt want to live with his brother anymore, for whatever reason, but he also stated he wants his brother to leave and him stay.

clearly, living with his biobrother is too painful for him and bringing up his traumatic past. It is a very sad story, and i cant believe im part of it. We have to keep the childrens best interest up front.

so, yes, we will be honest with the social workers, if were not, we might not get the help that we need. No more secrets for this poor child, his foster mother did that and here we are. He needs help and I will keep yelling until he gets all the help he deserves.

thanks for the suggestion, but i think in our case, we need to be upfront on what is going on and figure out what is going to the best for my son.

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