Saturday, March 7, 2009

Im at my limit

My older son has been off the wall. he is non-stop. He plays that weird game (seen in another post) 24 hours a day. He bothers everyone with this game, like going up to them and swinging the stuffies in their face.

My younger son, all he does is yell "get out here" "leave me alone" blah blah.

I love this kid, but over the last couple of months, he is over the top. Plus, he talks back, surprise surprise, hes 13, but there is no down time with him.

as i write this post, i had tto get off the seat to address his craziness four times already.

Im at a loss. He is regressing in schoool, becoming aggressive with teachers and students.

He pretends to have a shot gun and shoots.....the principle doesnt want to suspend him because she knows he is just playing, but there is policies around this.

Once we get his testing results, we will have an IEP meeting and though he is in a regular school, in an LD classroom, i think its time to come to realization that maybe he is just not ready to be a 'normal' kid.

sorry for the vent, he is just driving me up the wall...

Thursday, February 19, 2009


It’s really hard to know what is going with some of these kids. My older son has been off the charts with his behavior lately. It’s not like he’s acting ‘badly’, he is just acting weird with that game he plays. He can’t sit still for longer than 10min; he is always in constant motion.
I talked to his doctor and she stated that it could be pre-psychosis.

Then I start to question the whole IQ thing. If a child is experiencing psychosis, how can he really take an IQ test?

His IQ before was 85, not very high, but it was higher then 68. It dropped as he got older, so I started to question what is really going on. Plus, what is worse, a low IQ or a kid with psychosis. To tell you the truth, I can’t answer that.

My temper has not been in check and I am usually quite patient with the boys, but with my older son doing things just to bother people (out of instinct) he is really getting on everyone’s nerves. He at this point appears not to be able to do a simple chore, because that would include him putting down those beanie babies. Anyway:


Last night I decided to treat him like he was 5 yrs old. I went into the bathroom with him to brush his teeth, I laid out his PJ’s for him, and I hate to say this on here, but I might have to even sit with him if he’s doing number 2. Due to the fact that he can’t sit for long, he kind of just got up and still had poop in his butt that ended up on the floor.
My younger son doesn’t appear to be enjoying this either. He wants his friend for a sleepover, but with my older son acting like he is, we are not sure if this is a good thing at this time.

Monday, February 16, 2009

trauma is always trauma

So my little guy loves monster trucks. Here is an example, you dont have to watch the whole thing.

He watches this show and its such a thrill for him, so like the good dad I try to be, well, more like things i can bribe them with, I bought tickets to see Monster Trucks Jam LIVE! The tickets were 30 bucks a piece, but we got good seats, and I figured its a 'once in a lifetime event', so splurge away.

I kept it as a surprise, and it made them crazy just wondering what it could be. We went from 'video arcade' to 'ice fishing', don't ask me where they got the idea of ice fishing. As for the video arcade, don't worry, I have taken them numerous times to the arcade, so im not sure why they would even think it would be a big surprise.

So I wasn't going to tell them until they figured it out. They didn't figure it out till my little one saw the 'stage'. He knew exactly what it was.

He was so thrilled. As for my older son, well, he had his game boy, and that was pretty much all he needed to have a good time.

So we all sat there. I gave them ear plugs, (you just never know) and we sat.

Now there was a story on the news just recently about a 6 yr old boy who was killed at this monster truck show with flying debris. My son started huddling next to me and he said he was scared because of the boy.

geeessshhhh, i totally forgot about that.

Then comes the monster trucks, and was LOUD. My younger son flipped out. I took them outside in the hallway and my little one was holding his ears shaking, freaking out. He said he wanted to go outside, he didn't want to stay.

As for my older son, who was standing close by, was playing his game boy. He said its real loud and didn't like it, but I have a feeling for him, he just couldn't care less, since he had his game boy with him.

at first i tried to talk him into staying by saying that maybe we can go as high to the top as possible, but he was shaken so much that the best thing for all of us was to just go home.

I kept telling him it was fine, no big deal, and kept assuring him that it was to loud for me too. I know deep down he probably was more angry at himself and he felt he let himself down as he always wanted to see this.

I should of remembered when he joined little league as he is a gifted athlete. HE went up to bat and hit a home run, the crowd was cheering. When he reached home base, he held his ears and said "i want to go home" and that was the last time he ever played again.

He just doesn't do noise so well. He can't handle it.

Friday, February 13, 2009

IQ what?

well, we got the score of my older sons IQ test and it was 68. I knew he was slow, but I guess i just didn't want to hear he was considered mentally retarded. The weirdest thing is, he is always asks if he is a 'retard', as he puts it.

I guess when my kids came, i often wondered what kind of adults will they be, will they be able to work, be self-sufficient. My expectations of them have gotten lower as where before i wondered what college they will go to, now its can they get through High School. Can they get a trade? Can they learn to pump gas?

It saddens me to look at my older son and really look at what his future is. he is aware he is limited and has so many fears due to his PTSD.

I ask myself is he in the right school, he is in a regular public school. I guess when I asked the teacher if he had friends, she said "yes, they all like him and look after him". That was not what I was asking.

I don't want kids to 'tolerate' him.

Anyway, feeling down today, not sure what direction I want to go in. They are going to be more tests, so Ill have to wait. Then comes the IEP meeting.

Still not sure what all of this means.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

gay marriage

you know, i had a long post on my feelings on prop 8. I just deleted the whole thing, this video really says it all....

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

three simple words 'invalidate Prop 8'

face book

Face book. Ok, I admit it, I joined. However, the weird thing is, I have all these people who want to be my friend. But I never met them before so I am not quite sure why they want to be my friend. I am not even that good looking and I’m not that all entertaining or interesting.

I don’t even know how they find me. I’m thinking that maybe if I am friends with someone, then all their friends want to be friends with me. I really don’t quite get that at all.

Who wants friends anyway? I’m having trouble keeping up with the ones I already have.

So I’m loser, and I feel like a snob when I deny their friendship, but I don’t have the time to be friends with people I don’t know. I don’t even have the time to be friends with people I know for that matter.

Now, I’ll be honest, when I first joined face book, I accepted a couple of ‘friends’ that weren’t actually, well, friends. I might have known them, but I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They were friends with a friend who was a friend of a friend… know what I mean. And truth be told, I found myself desperate for friends, any friend, since I only had one friend on my page. It was a desperate plea as I knew people would probably feel sorry for me for only having 1 friend posts. I know I know, Pretty pathetic, but my page seemed so empty.

Well, because of that mistake, I get photos of these peoples life on my ‘wall’ and every freaking comment by people I don’t know. Why on earth do I want to see people’s pictures that I don’t know and hear what people think of the photo? It’s my own damn fault for accepting them. I learned the hard way. My wall is covered with people I don’t really know.

Now in between these gibberish, comes my real ‘friends’, people that I actually know. I look at their profile, and they have like over 400 friends on their list. How in the world do they have 400 friends? I know them, and I never knew they had all these friends, maybe they had some secret life that I didn’t know about. Where were all these people when we were hanging out?

I have to admit, I feel jealous sometimes, because I have like 9 friends. What makes this even worse, out of the 9 I have, I only actually talk to three of them on a somewhat daily basis.

But then I stop and think how in the world does one get 400 friends? Geesshhh, I can’t even imagine what it would be like. When I was in High School or even college for that matter, I knew alot of people, but no way did it come close to 400 friends.

I wouldn’t know what to do with over 400 friends. Its really quite bizarre when you think about it.

But then we have the dreaded update 'wall' messages. It says things like 'Dan is watching TV'....'Joanne is getting ready for work'....’bill is going on vacation’.

As I stare at the computer and see this ‘update’ line, all I can ever think to write is “I’m looking at face book write now” because in fact, as boring as that sounds, that’s really all I am doing at that moment. I’m not watching TV, I’m not going on a vacation, I’m not getting ready for work, because if I was, I wouldn’t be on face book.

So what is it? what is that drives people, even people I know, to let me know exactly what they are doing at that moment. When in fact, when you read the ‘update’, it also tells you when they posted it…. So what is the point? Do I need to know that you were watching a rerun of law and order 2 days ago?

I have read some useless crap in my life, but this 'update' is really over the top. Who cares? Someone please, if you are out there and really care what your friends are doing every minute of the day, please tell me.

Maybe its me. Do all those 400 friends care that Bill is going on Vacation or Dan is getting ready for work? Please tell me its not me.

Oh, just in case any body really wants to know what I am doing right now, is that I am writing this post for my blog. Its 1/7/09 at 5:56pm. OF course by the time you read this, I’m sure I will be doing something else so just ignore this whole post.

what is this?

Hi folks, Just wondering if anyone can help me out there. I am not exactly sure what to make of this. My 13 yr old son plays this game with beannie babies. They are fighting with each other. I guess I wouldnt be concerned to much, he does have a wild imagination.

But its the movements that bother me. It really is weird to watch.

He can play this game for hours. In fact, its pretty much the only thing that truly interests him. Well, dragon ball z interests him when its on TV. Dont want to give the wrong impression out there.

There is an upside to this, he wont play it in the front yard, due to someone seeing him, so he has some awareness on how weird it is and how he must look. OF course I have been known to drop a hint here and there, "buddy, your 13 yrs old, are you sure
you want to play that in the front?".

The video I have, is just an example. Sometimes the game can get violent as the beannie babies go flying through the air and crashing into the TV, the lamps. These beannie babies have been known to knock pictures off the wall.

The one thing we do know, it is a fighting game, he does come up with a story line on this. But he does get really deep into this play. Not sure if the sound will come out on the video, but he makes this 'swooshing sounds' when he plays, like they are fighting.

I dont know, maybe its not big deal at all, but he has been playing this game for a few years now. He runs around the house and spins and I guess Im just worried.

Then again, I have no idea what 'normal' is anymore, so who knows.

any idea if this is just play, or is there something else going on? If you cant tell by this video, ill try to get another one.