Wednesday, June 6, 2007

bossy behavior

ive been so busy with the adoption and all that great stuff. But i need some advice.

My older son has been very bossy and disrepectful. He 'demands' our time when he needs us, and it's starting to wear thin.

If he losses something, he tells us we have to help him find it.

"I'll help you after I finish the dishes" doesnt work for him...he goes into this "you never help me"..."you dont love me"..."your so mean".....crap.

then he starts screaming that someone 'stole' the thing he is looing for...

then i say
"if you keep talking to me like that, I wont help you at all"

then he has a major meltdown, and well, we dont help him,

how can i change this behavior. he has been doing this for so long and im just plan sick of it.

I know i havnt been as active here as before, but if there is any advice that any of you have to stop this behavior, i would appreciate it.

we are on a 'chip' system (reward system) and when he is disrepectful, we take away chips....the system does work with most things, but not this.

I'm not buying that he is being 'trauma reactive' anymore.....because sometimes, when I look at him while he is yelling like a crazy person, i start to laugh, and pending on his mood, he sometimes will laugh to realizing how 'crazy' this is.

I know that in his past, his screaming has gotten him what he wants by all everyone, but not here, but it doesnt seem to register to him that it doesnt work anymore. how many years of this will it take to compute that we are not helping him when he yells like this? .