Sunday, February 29, 2004




hi all,

well, im We have adopted two boys with 'some'
issues. Had them for about 1 1/2 yrs now.

we are from hyde park in Boston, and looking for play dates, respite, or just hang out with other adults with special needs kids. Just let the kids go crazy in a park, where we can sit and breath and maybe have a cup of

Is that asking to much?....

our kids have just turned 6 and 8. We dont care if your gay,
lesbian, straight, single....we just need a break now and

IM sure there are others that can use a break too.

i know its an odd request, especially from the internet, but we cant seem to find any thing. will you be our friend?

im sure there are other people out there in the same situation. My kids are

seriously, just looking for others in somewhat of the same situation we are in.

I belong to an AFT support group, but mostly their kids
are older or younger, or girls. my younger one doesnt like the girls

anyway, id just throw that request out there.

also, does anyone know where to get a babysitter from? I know it sounds weird, but we cant find one. we have our single friends
babysit sometimes, but im looking for someone more consistant.

I put an ad on the BU internet, but i havnt gotten a bite. Any ideas?

We need a break....its been a

we are not crazy people, well, it depends on who you ask...

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

medication question

medication question


as most know, my son was put on cylexa. however, the insurance wouldnt cover that, so they switched it to luvox.

i started him on it saturday night (its suppose to given before bed) so yesterday, tuesday, he had a little issue at preschool, throwing his pretzels around and then at the teacher.

then at night, he tantrumed for about 45 minutes because i didnt let him watch his favorite tv show (every show is his favorite)

he has been snapping more then usual with "i hate you" "youre mean" "i dont love you anymore"

He says these alot, but it has been constant the last couple of days.

however, he falls asleep easier and get up with no problems at all, where before we would have to drag him out of bed because he went to bed so late.

heres my question, could these be side effect after a couple of days, i know they say wait two weeks. Or is it just him being him and it was just a bad day which he has had in the past.

any idea? I might be looking to hard around side effects.

Sunday, February 22, 2004




hi all,

just thought id give you an update on my older son. well, our visit didnt go so well today.

i decided to take them to the movies. He asked if he can play videos and then have play time.

i told him that there was no time for videos, but after the movie, we can have play time.

well, that ended up being a 20 min screaming match...only on his part......i just sat there.

then after the movie, i brought him home and told him we only had 15 min of play time because i had to bring him back. He went in his room to look for toys and couldnt find anything to play with. Then i said from the other room "you have 8 minutes left..."

then he started yelling again.

I told him to relax, and he is running out of time.....then he said "NO!!! ill leave when im ready and shut up!!" He did the "I hate you" stuff...

then i calmed him down and brought him back. Not really sure what happened. He gets in this mind set....and doesnt seem to be able to get out of it.

i ended up picking him up and sitting him on my knee and talked to him, and he calmed down...

but the kid just told me to shut up and i am picking him up and hugging him.......'attachment issue'

i dont know...sad day here, it was going so well for a while. He will be doing a sleep over next weekend. maybe he is nervous about it, but i dont think thats it.

Monday, February 16, 2004




yesterday, my sons psych put him on an anti-depressant called cylexa....10 mg

everyone from his teacher to his therapist have stated that they feel he needs to be on something because he is so anxious.

his psych also felt that he was depressed.

has anyone out there had their child on this med? I looked up the side effects, but it was adult based......anything i should be looking for?

Friday, February 13, 2004

got to love 'em

got to love 'em...update


well, yesterday was my first school field trip....AHHHHH!!!!

I got a call from my older sons teacher. she asked if it was ok to bring him on the field trip (most know why she would ask

anyway, i said, sure, i think he will be fine. I told her things to look out for, and blah blah blah...but then i told her, "you know what, he has never had a problem in school, so im not to worried about him going"

they were going to the aquirium and she was concerned because of the 'dark places'. I told her he was there already, i brought him once before so he is familiar with it and it wasnt a issue.

then, in a hestitant voice, she said "well, i was thinking that maybe you would want to come and keep an eye on him.."

I had to cancel all my work crap, and off to the field trip i go....

it was real interesting to see my son in school. I got to his class early, before we were going and just watched him interact with the other kids and how he listened to the teacher.

I kinda got a little sad, just watching him. you know when your just sitting there and then all of sudden you get a flood of emotions coming at you as you watch them play or

anyway, I kept thinking of all the horrible stuff, just looking at him. Thinking all the abuse, he is in a group home....etc. He will never be like any other kid.....i just got so sad......

He listened to the teacher, he went on the rug to hear the story, raised his hand when he was supposed to. He was so quiet and shy....

he kept looking at me across the room, made sure i was in eye shot of him and he just kept smiling and saying, "thats my dad over there"

then when the kids were getting ready, he ran to me and pulled out a vlantines day card and said "here daddy, i made you a valentines day card because i love you...." I nearly started bawling but i didnt. It was a real nice card

anyway, i was in charge of 4 kids, including my I thought i was only going to keep my eye on my

the teachers kept laughing at me and saying "your going to be tired" they were very supportive.

we got on the bus, he wanted to sit next to me and he wanted to sleep in my lap and me rub his back.....(under the shirt)...i was like....oh, god, not i am with my kid on the bus and all the kids are all talking to each other and i got my kid laying on my lap and me rubbing his back....(he just aint normal.....)

we had a great time, and the kids said i was the best chaperon they ever had, until..........i didnt buy them

oh well, i was the best for a little while......

then i took my child home and we all had a family dinner and had a great visit......however, he is still trying to be the best little boy for us. its so sad that he thinks he has to be perfect to come home, no matter how many times we talk to him about it..

i actually enjoyed going on the field trip, plus i think it made my sons day that i came......

Tuesday, February 10, 2004




Im clueless.....

my 6 yr old has major transitonal problems, like im sure some of our kids out there do, but how do you handle it.

Heres my situatition.....just want to point out, it might be more my issue then my childs, i think......

ok, here i go. heres the scenario:

i pick him up at school, he runs into my arms and is happy to see me, he cant wait to go home. He puts on his coat then we walk out the door, ...then comes......:

"daddy, im going to take the secret way to the car"

"ok son, for one minute because we have to leave.."

then he walks on the banks of snow, kicking the snow.

tick tock tick tock....2 minutes later, but there i wait as i watch other parents come and go with their 'normal' kids (lol) as they hop write in the car with no problems and off they go.

"ok, its time to go, we need to go so i can make dinner, plus all the kids are going home now"

"ok daddy..but first i need to break through the snow and make a passage way...."

"ok, 1 minute then we gotta go" kick the snow, kick the snow.....

tick tock tick i say to myself....hurry up..hurry up,,,,God do i have to go to the bathroom....hurry up

"c'mon, we gotta go..." me
"ok, ok, one minute...." son
"we really got to go...." me
then i walk over to pick him up, he screams, then says "ok ok,".

then he hopes in the car.........

off we go..........

now, what do i do with this?...i really dont know.

things i do know:
1 my son has trouble with transitions and he likes to be for- warned before any transition so i let him play

2. whos it hurting anyway that he is playing? its usually me in a rush to go home after work. so is it my issue or his?

3. is this a control issue and im falling for it...letting him do what he wants to do....and thats not good?

just asking out there, im sure others have run into this.

id like to point out, that I am not big on taking ALL control away from my children... so im just wondering how others deal with this...for all i know, this could be common in biokids also and im thinking to much.

or should i just say:

"hey, get in the car...OK, thats long enough......go it again! do it again!!"........(only kidding)

Tuesday, February 3, 2004

fire starter

fire starter



my five year old, i think, is obseesed with fire. I know with kids with attachment issues, this is common.

Before we got him, he did have a 'fire starter' eval and the doctor felt that he didnt have an issue, but he was deemed to young to get a sence

But he does seem obsessed with it, not all the time, but likes to watch fire on TV. He face lights up. "daddy, look,a fire"

the only thing he remembered about bambi, was when the forest caught fire, not that mom died....

in the summer, we had the barbecue on and he went running to look at the fire. Both kids did, but the younger guy seeemed more interested in it.

Around christmas time, i had a candle buring in the living room and he was so excited. He just looked at it and asked to blow it because he said it makes him nervous, but i think he just likes to blow them out

He brings 'fire' up every once in a while, but its not often, but when it happens, you can sort of see a gleam in his eyes.

He has no desire to play with fire trucks or pretending there is fire in his play.

Im not sure if im making a big thing out of it due to his pasts record.

We were over my wifes sisters house the other day, who had a fire place buring and he said "i like to warm my hands" he also says that about the candle buring. He does put his hands near the flame and rubs them like he is getting them warm, but keeps a distance.

I know alot of kids, including adults, are facinated by fire, but how do i know if its an issue or not? are there any signs?

what about the candles? part of me wants to keep them lite so he can get use to seeing the fire so its not that much of a facination or will I be trigging something? When he came to us, we have nothing buring in the house at all. We still dont.

or do i just need to relax and see what happens? all his therapists knows about it, but it never really comes up, just his 'contol'...

Monday, February 2, 2004




i have a question, and i want to do know what people think.

our 8 yr old is currently in 1st grade. We havnt focused too much on learning due to all his transitions but he is still not up to par with the first graders, but they cannot keep him back another year.

Would an afterschool program with an education componant help? or should it really be just play time

I want him to catch up, but i dont want to frustrate him either where he is doing to much school work.

is there such thing as too much education? i have always thought so, but i dont want my child to be so far behind. Hes already 8.

just want some opinions