tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2767181207466846222024-03-12T16:19:35.065-07:00childrens secretsLinushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-64868894277412148872009-03-07T08:40:00.000-08:002009-03-07T08:46:11.014-08:00Im at my limitMy older son has been off the wall. he is non-stop. He plays that weird game (seen in another post) 24 hours a day. He bothers everyone with this game, like going up to them and swinging the stuffies in their face.<br /><br />My younger son, all he does is yell "get out here" "leave me alone" blah blah.<br /><br />I love this kid, but over the last couple of months, he is over the top. Plus, he talks back, surprise surprise, hes 13, but there is no down time with him.<br /><br />as i write this post, i had tto get off the seat to address his craziness four times already.<br /><br />Im at a loss. He is regressing in schoool, becoming aggressive with teachers and students.<br /><br />He pretends to have a shot gun and shoots.....the principle doesnt want to suspend him because she knows he is just playing, but there is policies around this.<br /><br />Once we get his testing results, we will have an IEP meeting and though he is in a regular school, in an LD classroom, i think its time to come to realization that maybe he is just not ready to be a 'normal' kid.<br /><br />sorry for the vent, he is just driving me up the wall...Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-27207565119097613072009-02-19T09:56:00.001-08:002009-02-19T09:56:54.422-08:00psychosisIt’s really hard to know what is going with some of these kids. My older son has been off the charts with his behavior lately. It’s not like he’s acting ‘badly’, he is just acting weird with that game he plays. He can’t sit still for longer than 10min; he is always in constant motion.<br />I talked to his doctor and she stated that it could be pre-psychosis. <br /><br />Then I start to question the whole IQ thing. If a child is experiencing psychosis, how can he really take an IQ test?<br /><br />His IQ before was 85, not very high, but it was higher then 68. It dropped as he got older, so I started to question what is really going on. Plus, what is worse, a low IQ or a kid with psychosis. To tell you the truth, I can’t answer that. <br /><br />My temper has not been in check and I am usually quite patient with the boys, but with my older son doing things just to bother people (out of instinct) he is really getting on everyone’s nerves. He at this point appears not to be able to do a simple chore, because that would include him putting down those beanie babies. Anyway: <br /><br /><br />(WARNING: GROSS AHEAD)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Last night I decided to treat him like he was 5 yrs old. I went into the bathroom with him to brush his teeth, I laid out his PJ’s for him, and I hate to say this on here, but I might have to even sit with him if he’s doing number 2. Due to the fact that he can’t sit for long, he kind of just got up and still had poop in his butt that ended up on the floor.<br />My younger son doesn’t appear to be enjoying this either. He wants his friend for a sleepover, but with my older son acting like he is, we are not sure if this is a good thing at this time.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-75844872333545670352009-02-16T09:07:00.000-08:002009-02-16T09:32:45.501-08:00trauma is always traumaSo my little guy loves monster trucks. Here is an example, you dont have to watch the whole thing. <br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RNw7CL23h08&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RNw7CL23h08&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />He watches this show and its such a thrill for him, so like the good dad I try to be, well, more like things i can bribe them with, I bought tickets to see Monster Trucks Jam LIVE! The tickets were 30 bucks a piece, but we got good seats, and I figured its a 'once in a lifetime event', so splurge away.<br /><br />I kept it as a surprise, and it made them crazy just wondering what it could be. We went from 'video arcade' to 'ice fishing', don't ask me where they got the idea of ice fishing. As for the video arcade, don't worry, I have taken them numerous times to the arcade, so im not sure why they would even think it would be a big surprise.<br /><br />So I wasn't going to tell them until they figured it out. They didn't figure it out till my little one saw the 'stage'. He knew exactly what it was.<br /><br />He was so thrilled. As for my older son, well, he had his game boy, and that was pretty much all he needed to have a good time.<br /><br />So we all sat there. I gave them ear plugs, (you just never know) and we sat.<br /><br />Now there was a story on the news just recently about a 6 yr old boy who was killed at this monster truck show with flying debris. My son started huddling next to me and he said he was scared because of the boy.<br /><br />geeessshhhh, i totally forgot about that.<br /><br />Then comes the monster trucks, and varoommmmmm.......it was LOUD. My younger son flipped out. I took them outside in the hallway and my little one was holding his ears shaking, freaking out. He said he wanted to go outside, he didn't want to stay. <br /><br />As for my older son, who was standing close by, was playing his game boy. He said its real loud and didn't like it, but I have a feeling for him, he just couldn't care less, since he had his game boy with him.<br /><br />at first i tried to talk him into staying by saying that maybe we can go as high to the top as possible, but he was shaken so much that the best thing for all of us was to just go home.<br /><br />I kept telling him it was fine, no big deal, and kept assuring him that it was to loud for me too. I know deep down he probably was more angry at himself and he felt he let himself down as he always wanted to see this.<br /><br />I should of remembered when he joined little league as he is a gifted athlete. HE went up to bat and hit a home run, the crowd was cheering. When he reached home base, he held his ears and said "i want to go home" and that was the last time he ever played again.<br /><br />He just doesn't do noise so well. He can't handle it.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-8721552410045073612009-02-13T11:22:00.000-08:002009-02-13T15:45:49.966-08:00IQ what?well, we got the score of my older sons IQ test and it was 68. I knew he was slow, but I guess i just didn't want to hear he was considered mentally retarded. The weirdest thing is, he is always asks if he is a 'retard', as he puts it. <br /><br />I guess when my kids came, i often wondered what kind of adults will they be, will they be able to work, be self-sufficient. My expectations of them have gotten lower as where before i wondered what college they will go to, now its can they get through High School. Can they get a trade? Can they learn to pump gas? <br /><br />It saddens me to look at my older son and really look at what his future is. he is aware he is limited and has so many fears due to his PTSD. <br /><br />I ask myself is he in the right school, he is in a regular public school. I guess when I asked the teacher if he had friends, she said "yes, they all like him and look after him". That was not what I was asking. <br /><br />I don't want kids to 'tolerate' him. <br /><br />Anyway, feeling down today, not sure what direction I want to go in. They are going to be more tests, so Ill have to wait. Then comes the IEP meeting.<br /><br />Still not sure what all of this means.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-36905399457774524432009-02-07T17:20:00.000-08:002009-02-07T17:57:04.837-08:00gay marriageyou know, i had a long post on my feelings on prop 8. I just deleted the whole thing, this video really says it all....<br /><br /><object width="400" height="302"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3089746&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3089746&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="302"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/3089746">"Fidelity": Don't Divorce...</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/couragecampaign">Courage Campaign</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.<br /><br />three simple words 'invalidate Prop 8'Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-11887227947120559132009-02-07T14:07:00.001-08:002009-02-07T15:01:11.798-08:00face bookFace book. Ok, I admit it, I joined. However, the weird thing is, I have all these people who want to be my friend. But I never met them before so I am not quite sure why they want to be my friend. I am not even that good looking and I’m not that all entertaining or interesting.<br /><br />I don’t even know how they find me. I’m thinking that maybe if I am friends with someone, then all their friends want to be friends with me. I really don’t quite get that at all.<br /><br />Who wants friends anyway? I’m having trouble keeping up with the ones I already have.<br /><br />So I’m loser, and I feel like a snob when I deny their friendship, but I don’t have the time to be friends with people I don’t know. I don’t even have the time to be friends with people I know for that matter.<br /> <br />Now, I’ll be honest, when I first joined face book, I accepted a couple of ‘friends’ that weren’t actually, well, friends. I might have known them, but I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They were friends with a friend who was a friend of a friend…..you know what I mean. And truth be told, I found myself desperate for friends, any friend, since I only had one friend on my page. It was a desperate plea as I knew people would probably feel sorry for me for only having 1 friend posts. I know I know, Pretty pathetic, but my page seemed so empty.<br /><br />Well, because of that mistake, I get photos of these peoples life on my ‘wall’ and every freaking comment by people I don’t know. Why on earth do I want to see people’s pictures that I don’t know and hear what people think of the photo? It’s my own damn fault for accepting them. I learned the hard way. My wall is covered with people I don’t really know.<br /><br />Now in between these gibberish, comes my real ‘friends’, people that I actually know. I look at their profile, and they have like over 400 friends on their list. How in the world do they have 400 friends? I know them, and I never knew they had all these friends, maybe they had some secret life that I didn’t know about. Where were all these people when we were hanging out?<br /><br />I have to admit, I feel jealous sometimes, because I have like 9 friends. What makes this even worse, out of the 9 I have, I only actually talk to three of them on a somewhat daily basis.<br /> <br />But then I stop and think how in the world does one get 400 friends? Geesshhh, I can’t even imagine what it would be like. When I was in High School or even college for that matter, I knew alot of people, but no way did it come close to 400 friends.<br /> <br />I wouldn’t know what to do with over 400 friends. Its really quite bizarre when you think about it.<br /><br />But then we have the dreaded update 'wall' messages. It says things like 'Dan is watching TV'....'Joanne is getting ready for work'....’bill is going on vacation’. <br /><br />As I stare at the computer and see this ‘update’ line, all I can ever think to write is “I’m looking at face book write now” because in fact, as boring as that sounds, that’s really all I am doing at that moment. I’m not watching TV, I’m not going on a vacation, I’m not getting ready for work, because if I was, I wouldn’t be on face book.<br /> <br />So what is it? what is that drives people, even people I know, to let me know exactly what they are doing at that moment. When in fact, when you read the ‘update’, it also tells you when they posted it…. So what is the point? Do I need to know that you were watching a rerun of law and order 2 days ago?<br /><br />I have read some useless crap in my life, but this 'update' is really over the top. Who cares? Someone please, if you are out there and really care what your friends are doing every minute of the day, please tell me. <br /><br />Maybe its me. Do all those 400 friends care that Bill is going on Vacation or Dan is getting ready for work? Please tell me its not me.<br /><br />Oh, just in case any body really wants to know what I am doing right now, is that I am writing this post for my blog. Its 1/7/09 at 5:56pm. OF course by the time you read this, I’m sure I will be doing something else so just ignore this whole post.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-70088604238642519292009-02-07T07:38:00.000-08:002009-02-07T08:01:58.609-08:00what is this?Hi folks, Just wondering if anyone can help me out there. I am not exactly sure what to make of this. My 13 yr old son plays this game with beannie babies. They are fighting with each other. I guess I wouldnt be concerned to much, he does have a wild imagination. <br /><br />But its the movements that bother me. It really is weird to watch.<br /><br />He can play this game for hours. In fact, its pretty much the only thing that truly interests him. Well, dragon ball z interests him when its on TV. Dont want to give the wrong impression out there.<br /><br />There is an upside to this, he wont play it in the front yard, due to someone seeing him, so he has some awareness on how weird it is and how he must look. OF course I have been known to drop a hint here and there, "buddy, your 13 yrs old, are you sure <br />you want to play that in the front?". <br /><br />The video I have, is just an example. Sometimes the game can get violent as the beannie babies go flying through the air and crashing into the TV, the lamps. These beannie babies have been known to knock pictures off the wall. <br /><br />The one thing we do know, it is a fighting game, he does come up with a story line on this. But he does get really deep into this play. Not sure if the sound will come out on the video, but he makes this 'swooshing sounds' when he plays, like they are fighting. <br /><br />I dont know, maybe its not big deal at all, but he has been playing this game for a few years now. He runs around the house and spins and I guess Im just worried.<br /><br />Then again, I have no idea what 'normal' is anymore, so who knows.<br /><br />any idea if this is just play, or is there something else going on? If you cant tell by this video, ill try to get another one.<br /><br /><OBJECT class=BLOG_video_class id=BLOG_video-ee57bb805ec5878b height=266 width=320 contentId="ee57bb805ec5878b"></OBJECT>Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-27322926142387416662009-02-02T11:07:00.000-08:002009-02-02T11:13:59.405-08:00IEP meetingSo we had my younger sons IEP meeting. Now mind you, we went to look at this private school before hand and they informed us that they don't take kids mid year. If anything, he might be eligible for next year. <br /><br />I have repeatedly told people how lucky we are with this school district, and I was getting nervous that there was going to be a fight around placement.<br /><br />They mentioned an out of district school, which i was happy about.<br /><br />so this is what we are going to do. For the reminder of the year, he will be getting 1:1 tutoring plus after school tutoring three times a week, and in April we will reconvene and see if there is any improvement, if not, they will be willing to look at out of district placement.<br /><br />The meeting lasted longer then I anticipated and it seemed like everyone was on the same page. <br /><br />I am not sure if we didn't know about the school not taking kids mid year, if we would be in their fighting for the switch, but this way it looks like we are working with them and they will be working with us. Give and take, but in reality, there was nothing we were really giving away. But hey, they dont need to know this.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-80120726680819028902009-02-02T10:34:00.000-08:002009-02-02T11:07:31.220-08:00Take about bizarreI left my job of 15 yrs in July 08. It was a huge risk for me, but i wanted to work closer to home to be nearer to the kids in case anything happened. You know those calls you get from the school.<br /><br />I am now working, get this, working with families in a treatment facitlity to reunite them with their kids who for many reasons were taken away.<br /><br />Kinda of an odd job for someone who has seen first hand what abuse and neglect can do to children, but here I am, working with the families on getting the kids back and keeping them.<br /><br />even though I am an adoptive parent, i still am a true believer that kids should be with their birth families if at all possible. But I also feel there needs to be a time when when the parents rights are terminated so the child does not have to stay in limbo/ foster care, for a long time.<br /><br />Ok, so here is the bizarre part. <br /><br />A new family came in and they were assigned to me. It turns out, that the father, is my childrens birth Uncle. I wasnt sure when we first met, but after putting all the pieces together, it is clear he is.<br /><br />Whats even weirder, his SO has the same last name as mine. <br /><br />After realizing this, I quickly took my kids pictures off my desk and told my supervisor that I cannot have this family for my clients.<br /><br />To be honest, I really wanted to keep them so I can find out some stuff, but I knew it would be unethical if I did, so I gave them up.<br /><br />He really is a nice guy and I keep wondering what would happen if i told him. <br /><br />He has no contact with his sister anymore (my kids birth mother), stated he hadnt seen her in years.<br /><br />oh, their little one, is the cutest kid also. Whats even odd about this, is when the little boy, he is 2 yr old, gets upset in the day care room, he comes looking for me. I can re-direct this kid real easy. <br /><br />Im sure he must be picking up some vibe that I think hes special.....(as hard as I try to treat everyone the same).<br /><br />This really has caused some rift with me, as I sit in clinical meetings and they discuss this family, I have this need to protect them. I have to sit on my hands and hum a little tune in my head so I dont yell "you have no idea what your talking about, you dont know what his childhood was like....blah blah blah...." <br /><br />The good part is, they dont suspect a thing. We just hired a new social worker and this was the newest family that came in and thats why they went to her. They were disappointed, but understood.<br /><br />I really like them though. He was 14 or 15 yrs old at the time of the removal of my kids. I even have a picture of him in my kids lifebooks.<br /><br />So, that my bizarre story. Not sure where this will go, but it really is interesting to be so close to a blood relative of my children. <br /><br />So here i am, hands under my legs, biting my tounge, pretending he is just like every other client, when we all know, he really isnt just like every other client, hes my kids Birth Uncle.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-37296479849881350662009-02-01T17:48:00.000-08:002009-02-01T17:58:45.538-08:00bullet has diedyes folks, my sons anole has finally died. I know it might sound cruel, but I am really happy about it. <br /><br />why just yesterday, I was at the pet store buying crickets for this thing and asking the clerk if there was a way I can kill it.<br /><br />Now before you go thinking I am mean hearted, let me explain. <br /><br />This anole my younger son had, was given to him by a friend from Florida. It was a wild anole. We took good care of it, then all of a sudden it got sick. He was a wild reptile that should not of been in captivity in the first place. but he had him for quite a while.<br /><br />Eventually the poor thing stopped eating and for the last 2 months, yes 2 months, this thing has been wasting away to nothing. His ribs started to show and you can see him breathing real heavy.<br /><br />At one point we thought he had died and when we went to bury it, the thing moved its head. It was kinda freaky. He just didnt want to die, and we didnt know what to do.<br /><br />Everynight we would watch this poor thing, drink the drips of water off the side of its glass cage. My son had a hard time watching it, as I did too.<br /><br />So you see, my hopes for this thing to die, was that it appeated to be suffering. I have no idea why it hung on as long as it did. It was very painful for my younger son and I watch. <br /><br />oh, In case you dont know what an anole looks like, here is a picture of a healthier time. Funny, but that lizard kinda grew on me.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzzlE405T73trqPZxELqcZbMR1-80aRRFNjZ9gGxgt3gL0FSKrpdUOntUra0bxS2EqulX0ZAKPHRJ60NsP4SD4s7x_GtTo0y4X9q8TZ6LDcFtLAb_lBvsqRgHs7CkFuwcyImxqjLQYkoHM/s1600-h/brown-anole-02.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 186px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzzlE405T73trqPZxELqcZbMR1-80aRRFNjZ9gGxgt3gL0FSKrpdUOntUra0bxS2EqulX0ZAKPHRJ60NsP4SD4s7x_GtTo0y4X9q8TZ6LDcFtLAb_lBvsqRgHs7CkFuwcyImxqjLQYkoHM/s320/brown-anole-02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298012234710445666" /></a>Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-138540571361847902009-02-01T05:23:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:30:00.156-08:00Quiet timeEveryone is still sleeping so i have some quiet time. I love this time of the day, I get my coffee and just sit. Ill start cleaning in a little bit, but for now, i can just catch up on the news and think about what my day will bring.<br /><br />I have been sick for the last few days with a head cold and it wiped me out yesterday. At least I am feeling better today, so i hope that its on its way out.<br /><br />Were in for another snow storm on Tuesday, and I gotta tell you, I'm done with the snow. I look out my dining room window and wonder if i will ever see the ground again. Its piled so high. But hey, Its New England, what do I expect.<br /><br />As i mentioned before about my younger son has a learning disability, I just received a phone call from my older sons school. The psych at his school told me that he is not sure if this school is the right placement for him.<br /><br />He just entered middle school this year. To be honest, my older son is, well, how shall I say this...slow. <br /><br />He has been in a behavioral classroom pretty much his whole life and this year they took him out because his behaviors have gotten so much better. But now he is starting to act out. I got a note sent home that he turned over a desk and chair. He does not do this stuff at home.<br /><br />He is VERY sensitive and kids make fun of him, he will go off. His biggest fear is that he mentally retarded. His IQ is very low when we got him tested 3 yrs ago, but there was so much going on for him at that time, we kinds took it with a grain a salt.<br /><br />I am going to get him tested again and see where he is at.<br /><br />Well, there you have it, my two kids are pretty much being asked to leave public school.<br /><br />Sometimes when i think we have overcome so much, there seems to be something always lurking, waiting for our defences to be down and then crash. Life isn't suppose to be easy.<br /><br />The weird thing is, I go through this jealousy stage, its not a long stage, its only when i start to stress about taking time off from work to go to meetings, start going on new school tours, doctors appts. etc. I start to get angry at 'normal parents' with 'normal kids'. I don't want to hear about them or see them or even talk to them. Yea, I'm bitter, I said it.<br /><br />The stage really only lasts a short time but when its hear, it really is bothersome. I have this knack to project, and its always seems to be doom and gloom, kinda like looking at the glass half empty.<br /><br />But then as I take the steps, one step at a time, the sun does come out and the glass becomes half full again.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-78434434582963396752009-01-30T13:14:00.001-08:002009-01-31T10:09:09.718-08:00IEPwell, Monday is my younger sons IEP meeting, after having him tested, it is clear he has an LD. <br /><br />We did go to the open house that offers orton gillingham. The school sounds really good.<br /><br />I guess what pisses me off the most is that his social worker and teacher told us that he probably needs this school but they always end it with "you didn't hear it from us" because it will cost the town alot of money to send my kid there.<br /><br />He is 11 yrs old and doesn't know the alphabet yet and cant read, when does the school finally say "uh, we just cant teach him?"<br /><br />the doctor that did the testing felt that we need to hire an attorney. The school probably wont pay for it. <br /><br />Sometimes i think to myself "why cant these kids get a break"<br /><br />now my older son, well, that's a whole other story. They called and the psych at school feel he is in the wrong school. That it is not an 'appropriate setting' due to his IQ being low.<br /><br />I have been saying this for a while, but they just wouldn't agree with me. So now the kid is 13, and he is feeling so different then all the other kids.<br /><br />I don't know, just a vent, just frustrated, not sure what we are going to do.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-23723774748641848372008-10-25T14:37:00.000-07:002009-01-31T10:11:05.563-08:00school issues againMy younger son, who is 10, has been having a read hard time with learning, his self estemm is shot. He has "severe case of dyslexia" per the school. We noticed the signs, but didnt realize it had gotten so bad.<br /><br />he apparently is doing about 5-10 minutes of work a day at school, due to his defiance. He is at a place now where he wont even try. He wont do any 1:1, wont even count to 10 stating "I cant do it"...his mantra at the moment. I know he can count to 10.<br /><br />He cant read or write.<br /><br />We are at a loss, they suggested that maybe a different school would be in order and i checked into one of the schools they mentioned, and it seems like a great school, its a few towns over (which bothers me) but apparently its really hard to get in.<br /><br />when my son was moved in kindergartin to another school, it was so traumatic for him but it was the best thing for him. This year, how our school is set up, kids with learning disabilities in 4th grade, get moved to the other school. He didnt want to leave his old school, but all his classmates and friends, were moving also so it was an easier transition.<br /><br />they are stating that it is so diffulcult to see him suffer like he is because he just wont do the work.<br /><br />He stated to me that he will kill himself/ runaway, or whatever if he has to leave the school he is in now.<br /><br />he just doesnt want to move. (mind you, i never even mentioned that he might be leaving the school, he figureres when we have a meeting with the school, that is what we talk about (past history, but he is right)<br /><br />Homework is also a struggle at home, it can take him quite a long time to do it, with alot of tears and screams.<br /><br />i have asked for them instead of 45 minutes of reading, try 15 and use a timer to at least let him get back in the swing, and we also decided that his homework assignments might be real easy stuff that he can do with his eyes closed.<br /><br />We started him back on clonidine again, to hellp with the anxiety, so we will see.<br /><br />anybody out there with a kid with dylexia, he is on the wilson program, which is the program of choice with his disability, he just refuses to do the work.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-72901883235032101172008-06-27T16:47:00.000-07:002009-01-31T16:34:29.340-08:00medication issuesAs most know, my son was put on risperdol and it worked wonders. He was on it for quite a few years with no major side effects, but then had this 'neck twitching' thing. It ended up being really bad that anytime he got nervous his neck would go through this twitching thing.<br /><br />we took him off it, it was long slow process and put him on geodone. (sp?) this didnt seem to do anything, it just made him kinda hyper. His thoughts were all scrambling, and he appeared worse. Plus, his eyes would roll and twitch. <br /><br />The doctor saw the eyes rolling, so we took him off that and put him on abilify.<br /><br />well, he has been on abilify, which works a little like the risperdol, which is a good thing, but after a while, his eyes started to roll again, which seems to be worse then before.<br /><br />I got nervous today and called the doctor. She basically said she is all out of ideas on meds. He seems to be having reactions to this anti-psycotic meds.<br /><br />I am at a loss on what to do. she said she will look further into other meds but the only ones she knows of, are like haldol, thorazine, and she doesnt like putting kids on these older medications.<br /><br />so, here I am pleading for HELP. Does anyone know any other meds out there that we might want to try before these others.<br /><br />i wish i could say we should take him off of everything, but when he was coming for the risperdol. the paranoia set in then the hearing voices started again.<br /><br />please help. Im desperate.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-7911120465867554282008-03-22T08:13:00.000-07:002009-02-01T17:48:20.073-08:00is it me?So were dying the Easter Eggs and I tell the boys that they have to go to bed early tonight so the Easter Bunny will come. (oh dear God, please have them go to bed early..)<br /><br />My older son, who believes in the tooth fairy still, says "yea, we have to go to bed early"<br /><br />My younger son turns around and says "We know its you, your the one who hides the eggs"<br /><br />Well, I know the gig is up. We barely made it through Christmas with my younger son blabbing. <br /><br />My older son was real good due to Santa coming and we all know what Santa leaves for little boys that make bad choices... Plus, he lives in his own world, that I dont think it even registered with him what my younger son was saying about no such thing about Santa. <br /><br />But this is about the Bunny.<br /><br />So then I quickly look at my older son to see his expression on his face, and have him freak out that the Easter Bunny is not coming since there is no such thing. That is where my older son would automatically go. Welcome to the meltdown. <br /><br />But instead, it seems he didnt even hear him, because he didnt say anything, then with a smile on his face, he says "Yea, we know it's you, I always see the Easter Eggs in your closet " (no, not boiled eggs, those plastic ones..) <br /><br />Ok, so does this mean he knows there isnt a tooth fairy? I mean, he just lost a tooth 3 days ago and talked about the tooth fairy, just as much as he has been talking about the Easter Bunny. He is 12 and we knew we would have to tell him, but we figured sooner or later, he would figure it out. But we started to worry, after all, he is 12!!!!!!!<br /><br />oh, by the way, they are NOT crushed and I havnt scarred them for life, unlike other parents that I have talked to that think by 'pretending' there is a n Easter Bunny, or even a Santa Claus that they would be traumatized for life and learn never to trust us. <br /><br />God only knows what your parents did to you, to make you so traumatised about Santa Claus. I can see if it was a clown, I mean, who isn't afraid of a clown. <br /><br />where am I going with this...oh yea, the Easter Bunny. How quickly I get off track.<br /><br />So, after we are all done, my younger son turns to me and says "should we get the carrots"<br /><br />I say "for what?"<br /><br />and he says "for the Easter Bunny, in case his hungry"....oh I give up.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-90886887056678816772008-03-19T08:14:00.000-07:002009-02-01T08:16:25.113-08:00cat fish must goI do love having little fishes swimming around in their tanks. What a beautiful site and the sound it makes, from the water from the filter, really does sound peaceful.<br /><br />But what if you find, that in your beautiful fish tank, is a 5 inch ugly cat fish, with bulgy eyes and whiskers.<br /><br />Well, welcome to our fish tank.<br /><br />My younger son just loves to go fishing, but what he likes even more, is taking a net and scooping up the drudge from the bottom of the lake. fun fun fun<br /><br />So last spring, he drudges up this cat fish, well, we werent exactly sure what it was, it was about 1 inch long. He also scooped up two cray fish. They were each about 1 1/2 in long.<br /><br />He decides that he really wants them, and the lesson about ’taking them from their friends and there surrondings, and they might get sad and loney’ didnt go over very well. Well, it worked for me, when I was there age, but I wasnt that bright.<br /><br />So with pail and one small fish and two cray fish in tow, were home to release these brown things in their tanks.<br /><br />So off to the computer we went to learn how to take care of these little creatures, we werent really sure what he caught at that time.<br /><br />First we found out that the cray fish need to be by themselves, so off to the pet store to buy a seperate tank for them, then they needed to have something that they can hide under. (like a cave), so i have one of those. Didnt know they didnt like to share, but I’ll get to that later.<br /><br />Then came the ugly fish. Well, my son was determined to figure out what kind of fish it was, at that point we didnt know, so he looks it up in the book. I cant spell encylopedia...oh wait, did I just spell it write? but i digress.<br /><br />Well, we discover it was a cat fish or bottom feeders or shit eaters. what ever term you are most comfortable calling them. Oh, "they eat anything", says the pet store man. So thats good news. That dirty little fish.<br /><br />Well, its been a year now, and I guess the king of the cray fish was not about to share his ’hiding place’ or as I like to call it ’his throne’, the other cray fish ended up dying. I guess they really do need a place to hide....<br /><br />Now the other cray fish, is as boring as this blog, and darn thing just sits under the ’cave’, and wont come out for nothing. So we are just looking at an empty fishtank. Oh what fun....<br /><br />Well, guess who decided to come out and grab a bite to eat.....the cray fish, and he isnt an inch anymore, the darn thing is about 5 inches long. The thing grew overnight. Oh, and here is some important facts about cray fish...when you see them ’pale white’ just kinda floating around the tank, dont think they are dead. They shed their bodies.....AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I was ready to dump and clean out the fish tank because I thought that ugly thing was dead, but little did I know, he was still in his cave, alive and well, and left me a lovely little gift....<br /><br />Now on to that cat fish, and this is the reason why I am writing. This is the most dumbest fish that I ever met. He is now 5 inches long, and the tank is just to darn small for him. His eyes are even more buldgy then before and his whiskers have grown about 2 inches long.<br /><br />He has no idea when its feeding time, even though I feed him the same time everyday. He comes out looking stupid and isnt even use to any of us. We had guppies smarter then him.<br /><br />But our gold fish, every morning, when he sees us, he swims up to the top, with a big ol smile on his face because he knows he is going to get some food, but NOT this cat fish, oh NOOOOOOOOOOOO, he just give you this stupid look and has no clue why your even looking at him...durrrr...<br /><br />Well, before we go spending alot more money on a bigger tank, I talked to the guy at the pet store with my son in ear shot and asked about releasing him back in the lake and if he will die. He said he wouldnt....<br /><br />So come the warm weather, we will have to go our seperate ways. The cray fish and the cat fish need to go be amongst their own kind, and we’ll go back to buying guppies. Unless of course my son decides that he doesnt want to use the live bait for fishing anymore, and wants to bring the bait home to put in the tank.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-44312718541182787872008-03-12T08:16:00.000-07:002009-02-01T08:17:57.928-08:00yet another projectThis is the second time that my son comes home with the same project that he has to do three times. What is up with that? <br /><br />First it was the Solar System, fine, but he had to do 3 projects on it. When I was in school, I just got a box and hung alluminum foil by string and that, my dear friends, is what I called the Solar System. <br /><br />But not my sons class...he needed to do 3 projects. <br /><br />So guess who comes home last week with a new assignment, my son. Now he has pick a hero and do three projects about him or her. What is up with these 3 projects?<br /><br />He could pick anyone, we talked about doing his cousin since he fought in Iraq and has 2 purple hearts, but he wanted to do Martin Luther King. Which actually, would be much easier....lol...alot more info on him..<br /><br />So here we go again, three projects on Martin Luther King. When doing three projects, it really takes fun and learning out of it, because then it becomes a goal to get it done instead of actually really investing the time on one project and giving it you all.<br /><br />Oh, but if that wasnt bad enough.<br /><br />When I talked to his teacher, he told me that it wasn't him assigning it, but the teacher that he has for social studies since he is matinstreamed in there. He told me that he has tried telling this teacher that 'his kids' cant do three, and some cant even do one, but it is what it is and there is nothing that he can do about it, since it's the required assignment.<br /><br />The biggest issue i have, you ready for this, is that the ones that dont do it, have to lose recess to do the project. <br /><br />What is up with that? OK, so you get the special needs kids mainstreamed in a regular social studies class, but they cant or wont do the projects (not sure what it is) and you take them and have them miss recess. Annnnnd thiiiiiiis helps them, how?..I must of missed of that one.<br /><br />Why don't we really aleinate them even more already. Not only do they stand out because they didnt do three projects, but they have to miss recess because of it. Lets see how we can crush their self esteems even more, oh good, its actually working, they even less then now.<br /><br />well, my son only did two of the projects, three was just too much. I am so pist because the last things these kids need is to lose recess, the only time where they can run and burn off the energy. These boys (they are all boys, go figure) need to get out and run for them to function.<br /><br />These are suppose to be educators, why dont they educate themselves in how physical activity actual helps kids to learn better.<br /><br />So now we have to deal with reprocrussions, my son doesnt ever want to go to school again. Every morning he tantrums and it is just getting worse.<br /><br />yesterday he said he hurt his ankle, oh the pain and drama. But when he gets home, it amazingly seems better.<br /><br />this morning, he says "well, I guess I did to much walking on it when I got home, because it really hurts now and I cant walk, which means I cant go to school"...<br /><br />WHAAAAAALLLLLLLL. He missed the bus yesterday due to his tantruming, and he almost had a near miss today.<br /><br />The bottom line is, he feels so 'stupid' and as he is getting older, he is realizing how far he is behind and it really is bothering him. <br /><br />I wish I can help him, but he doesnt want us to know how he isn't as smart as the other kids. God knows he isnt comparing himself to his class.<br /><br />The reality behind all this, is that he is a really smart kid. We have gotten alot of feedback on how impressed they are with his building skills and his ideas. HE thinks everything out, and his structures are solid. He is able to think very abstractly, and has done this since he was a little kid. He is known to look things up in the encylopedia when he wants to find out things and can put togther anything by looking at the 'picture directions'. He has taken things out of the garbage and fixed them. He really is amazing when it comes to this stuff, that I actually stopped saying "let me do it before you break it" because the reality is, at 10 yrs old and even way before that, he doesnt break anything.<br /><br />But he knows he is good at that, so he has no fear on learning and doing it, its the stuff that he feels he isnt good at, that caused these meltdowns.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-43423738227504372372008-03-11T14:41:00.000-07:002009-01-31T16:35:06.917-08:00geodonHas anyone heard of this med before? my older son has gotten a tic from the risperdol, after it working for quite a few years so we have been weening him off it for the last two months.<br /><br />But lately he has been coming extrememly agressive with his kicking, punching walls, cursing, banging his head and trying to scratch out his eyes. Behaviors that we havnt seen in a long time.<br /><br />We were hoping that when he got off the risperdol, he would be ok, but clearly that is not the case.<br /><br />I suggested abilify to the doctor but she wants to try this med first due to lack of side effects.<br /><br />I never heard of this. Has anyone ever used this before, and if so, any positive or negative results.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-42432538125615952992008-03-04T08:18:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:18:56.623-08:00make them stopIts been a tough few nights over here. My little guy has been tantruming, talking back, and just down right nasty. Last night, my older one, had his meltdown. Its been a very long few nights.<br /><br />So, were back to square one. The rules are in place and they will have to pay their consequences.<br /><br />Rule 1: If homework is not down at after school, then as soon as they get home they have to do it. Not when they want.<br /><br />Rule 2: No talking back. They can lose chips or take a time out.<br /><br />Rule 3: Picking up after themselves. They have a tendency to just drop what ever is in their hands on the floor when they dont want it.<br /><br />Rule 4: WHen they are having a meltdown, they can either go on the mini trampoline and jump, or lose chips. If need be, for my older son who 'gets stuck' we can do a hug or our secret handshake.<br /><br />Rule 5: When they are mean to each other with words, then for every bad thing they say, they can either lose a chip, or say something nice back.<br /><br />Rule 6: Inappropriate Language: lose of chip, or have them come up with something better then poo poo head.<br /><br />Rule 7: No more computer games or play station on school nights. It causes nothing but wide awake kids and alot of yelling when we have to shut it off.<br /><br />It's posted, were done and everyone is clear.<br /><br />So we will see how it goes, I'll try to be optomistic. So here we go....<br /><br />THE WAR IS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-43353052184271435952008-03-01T08:18:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:20:38.421-08:00party is overok, so friday I get a call that the little one wasnt feeling well. He gets home and pukes everything that he tried to eat. (lovly isnt it?)<br /><br />I had him lay down at 7pm and he fell asleep.<br /><br />We woke up to a snow storm, the day of his party.<br /><br />A few people called the night before, and now we were in charge of bringing 4 kids with us. 3 would meet us there. So to me, thats a party. 7 kids, my little one my older one.<br /><br />one of the kids that we were suppose to bring, didnt show or call, so we waited and then we had to go. So my son was late to his own party....if you can believe that. But that is not what this post is about.<br /><br />Which brings me to my next issue (and I got a load of 'em). One of the children that was dropped off with us, was clearly, to me anyway, a child that you wouldnt 'drop off'. He was OUT OF CONTROL. Now I'm fine with a kid with issues, Lord knows, I have had my share of parties where I was worried that my kid might go off, but I wouldnt just drop him off and NOT say a word.<br /><br />He was a huge handful, and actually I almost had to restrain the child a few times because he kept running away to do whatever he wanted. Clearly the child had mental illness, but also very agressive. <br /><br />I wasn't mad at the kid, but mad at the parent who just dropped him off and didnt say a word. I hate to say this, but he wasnt a 'drop off kid', he was a kid that the parent should of said "thanks for the invite, but would you mind if I stayed because if he gets over stimulated, he becomes out of control." Thats what I usually say. Or better yet, JUST STAY!.<br /><br />I had no idea what was wrong with him or how to handle him since his mom just took off without a word. I felt bad because we spent so much time trying to deal with this kid, that my son's birthday party was rushed so we can get this kid back to his mother. The 'party person' was a little uncomfortable around him, so she didnt say much either. To think I had to tip her when we had to do pretty much everything because everyone was nervous around this kid. <br /><br />First thing I did when i got him in the car, was call his mom to pick him up. Guess who was 40 min late picking him up? I had to call her two times to find out where she was.<br /><br />The bottom line is, my son had a good time, and its OVER. I think Next year, we will do things a little different. This was the first year that we let our son invite anyone who he wanted. Last time we do that...Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-49141859301577948012008-02-28T08:20:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:21:46.070-08:00little one birthday partyI'm not sure what to think. My son invited his whole class to his birthday party and some other kids. The party is Saturday and only 3 kids have said they would come.<br /><br />We had a RSVP on the invite. He is starting to worry that no one will show, and the truth is, I'm thinking the same way he is.<br /><br />Maybe I dont know what the etiquette is on kids birthday parties. But doesnt RSVP mean call to let us know either way. <br /><br />Now he wants to call all his friends to see if they are coming. I dont know how to handle this. I dont want him stalking them...<br /><br />Why doesnt parents realize that by not calling leaves a child in anxiety. Have we become so self absorbed that we cant even think about a childs feelings?<br /><br />What gets me, is this party costs us alot of money, and I cant give a headcount because NO ONE FREAKING RSVP'D...<br /><br />Who knows, maybe they will do the RSVP thing the day before the party. Maybe they just want to make sure nothing better comes up......oh wait, thats me....(only kidding) LIke I got alot of offers to go do some fun things.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-61018916881462826702008-02-22T08:21:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:22:40.466-08:00stinky stinkEvery morning before I go to work, I hit the Dunkin Dounuts. Every morning I order the same thing. "Number 3 please".<br /><br />Is it that wrong to say "a number 3 please, and may I have the man make my coffee"?<br /><br />It's not that I dont like women making my coffee, but they smell. They wear perfume to work. And it's not a particular nice smelling perfume, but who am I to judge. I'm sure alot of people like that smell. But that is not what this is about, its about the smell clinging on to everything. And yes, the smell clings on to the top of my coffee lid.<br /><br />Every morning, the lid of my coffee smells like perfume!!. I dont want to smell anything, or taste anything for that matter, but my coffee. Is that asking to much?<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those 'frangence free' people, you know THOSE kind of people. All I want, is what I am paying for, a cup of coffee that actually smells like coffee as I slowly take a sip, not some womens perfume, is that so wrong? Now before anyone calls me a sexist, if it was a guy who wore cologne, I would be complaining about the same thing, but in this specific Donkun Donuts, it's the women who wear perfume. (can't even believe I have to clarify this..) <br /><br />They really should have people that work in those places, 'fragrence free'. Who knows, maybe I'm turning into one of THOSE fragrence free people. I hope not, I hate those people.<br /><br />Well, there is my vent today. All I want is to get myself a nice hot cup of coffee without smelling someones 'stinky' before I take a sip. Is that asking to much? After all, I did pay for a cup of coffee and never asked them to put 'smelly' on top.<br /><br />Well, apparently it is, since the women really do not like it when you request the man to make your coffee. Boy, everyone is so sensitive these days...does everyone need an explanation on why? It's dunkin donuts for petes sake....geeessssshhhhh.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-90606467235285016892008-02-17T08:22:00.000-08:002009-02-01T08:23:54.545-08:00more mosiacsOn to those mosicas again in Sunday School. What a nightmare. The kids got so dirty and sticky from all the grout. It seemed much easier when it was just my kids and myself. But to teach a bunch of kids, well, it got kinda messy.<br /><br />The boys in the class of course were just having a ball. I dont mean that in a positive way. They were running up and down the halls with grout all over the hands threatening to smear on it people. <br /><br />The girls of the class, did a great job. They finished their projects and couldnt wait to clean their hands....<br /><br />But now I am stuck doing the rest by myself and cleaning up the kids projects because it was such a mess. It will take me a few days scrapping the grout off of each one because you cant even see the glass pieces they used so much grout...lol<br /><br />Remind me never to fill in for the teacher again. I'm sure the parents weren't to keen on trying to get the glue and grout off their kids fingers....lol. <br /><br />Reminds me when I was doing ceramics in school. I was working on the pottery wheel and I was making a porcelain bowl. Well, I wasnt very good at it, and I always took the last wheel in the corner, figurinng it was safe there and I could just blend in. So there I was, in the corner, with the coat rack.<br /><br />Well, I was spinning away madly with my porcelain and then my friend next to me said "uh, John, look at the coats"....you see, alot of artists like black coats. And well, porcelain is white. <br /><br />I looked up, and all over those dark coats, were splatters of white porcelain clay.<br /><br />So I slowly got my coat and headed out the door and didnt say a word.<br /><br />Now, if any of them are reading this, I'm sure they are cursing me right now.<br /><br />But it was my last week at Sunday School, the teacher comes back next week and I'm better at just 'helping out'...Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-58332465301595441032007-08-07T16:51:00.000-07:002009-01-31T16:36:17.359-08:00I have to sit alone.....i know this is probably more common then i think, but i cant even sit and watch tv with the kids because they fight over who will sit next to me.<br /><br />I know it sounds weird, but the minute i sit down, then one yells "im sitting next to daddy"...then they both get up and race, and it actually gets physical.<br /><br />so i basically get up and sit by myself. (in the hard uncomfortable chair..... )<br /><br />i have tried timing, but then it goes into this "im first' argument.<br /><br />it really is bothering me. I get the 'not enough love to go around' stuff, but knowing why it is happening, just doesnt seem to be enough.....lol<br /><br />so what have others done, it really is driving me crazy. Its not like i dont spend alot of time with them, i spend tons of time with them.<br /><br />what have others done, im sure this is a common problem, but with kids with loss issues to boot, not sure how to handle it.Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276718120746684622.post-4973968042714838302007-06-06T16:52:00.000-07:002009-01-31T16:37:19.831-08:00bossy behaviorive been so busy with the adoption and all that great stuff. But i need some advice.<br /><br />My older son has been very bossy and disrepectful. He 'demands' our time when he needs us, and it's starting to wear thin.<br /><br />If he losses something, he tells us we have to help him find it. <br /><br />"I'll help you after I finish the dishes" doesnt work for him...he goes into this "you never help me"..."you dont love me"..."your so mean".....crap. <br /><br />then he starts screaming that someone 'stole' the thing he is looing for... <br /><br />then i say <br />"if you keep talking to me like that, I wont help you at all"<br /><br />then he has a major meltdown, and well, we dont help him,<br /><br />how can i change this behavior. he has been doing this for so long and im just plan sick of it.<br /><br />I know i havnt been as active here as before, but if there is any advice that any of you have to stop this behavior, i would appreciate it.<br /><br />we are on a 'chip' system (reward system) and when he is disrepectful, we take away chips....the system does work with most things, but not this. <br /><br />I'm not buying that he is being 'trauma reactive' anymore.....because sometimes, when I look at him while he is yelling like a crazy person, i start to laugh, and pending on his mood, he sometimes will laugh to realizing how 'crazy' this is.<br /><br />I know that in his past, his screaming has gotten him what he wants by all everyone, but not here, but it doesnt seem to register to him that it doesnt work anymore. how many years of this will it take to compute that we are not helping him when he yells like this? .Linushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06795706521030903000noreply@blogger.com0