Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Attachment therapy

Last night i went to a training on attachement. One of the the people from ATNE was leading it.

i guess i just want to know if this is common in AT?

here is a scenario:

child behaves bad and is sent to room due to 'safty'.

child then calms down and all is good. (which makes sence)

but then here was the question asked by someone.

what if the child has trauma in the bedroom, what if it is the bedroom that the child cannot handle.

the responce was
"well, if you tell the child to stop or they will go to their room, and the child then continues, no matter what the child did, you put the child in the room,"

then further explained
"if i was scared of snakes, and there were snakes in the room, i was told that i shouldnt touch that, chances are is that i would not touch that, because i dont want to go in the room, but if i 'touch then i go int he room'

but my feeling was that these kids dont get the cause and effect and wouldnt this be more traumatizing to the child? IF the goal is to build trust, by putting the child in the room that he assoc with trauma, wont that be counter productive?

there were alot of good things said, dont get me wrong, but some things i just had a hard time understanding.

can one of you expert people out there help me understand this....

as some know, we are looking to get our son's AT, but when i hear things like this, i want to run for the hills....

Sunday, November 12, 2006

pink gooshie thing

My son this morning said he wanted some playdoe, i told him we didnt have any. He became a broken record.

then he said "find me a pink gooshie thing" in his 'argumentative voice.'

he just kept going on and on with insisting me helping him find this pink gooshie thing.

I told him we dont have a pink gooshie thing, and he insisted that i go to the store and buy him this.

this went on and on with me just staying calm and saying we dont have a pink gooshie thing.

finally i couldnt take it, so i told him i was goinng on the bedroom to get away from the conversation.

he of course followed me, so i closed the door on him and he tried to break down the door to come in.

any suggestions, this is an on going issue and it is getting worse.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

i need some expert thoughts

i am starting a group at work for parents who had their kids either removed from them, or are still with them, who have substance abuse, homelessness, and possibly mental health issues that werent being treated.

One of the things we will be focusing on, is for bparents to get the support that they need for themselves, and work on their recovery, like managing AA meetings, or things of that nature.

as most of you know, taking care of kids, is diffulcult, but to take care of kids who were either neglected, or abused, is even harder, and then have the bparent trying to do her/his best to get his/her act together, and being a single parent (in most cases) land yet then raise his/her kids, is almost an impossible task, i cant even imagine it. is why im writing this thread. I want to find out more about the children, vs the adult.

What does a child look like when they immediatly get removed from bmom and placed with you. what kinda of behaviors do they have.

what do you think a child experiences when they get reunited with their bmom?

what do you think a child experiences when they are goinng through the visitation with bmom?

i am using mom, more then dad here, because the work is mostly around the woman we are treating.

keep in mind, these children that i am talking about WILL be moving back with bmom if she keeps to here treatment plan.

so these questions arent for foster/adopt, they are for foster parents who are fostering the children till the bparents get their 'act' together.

any thoughts....i want to put together a small presentation in the childs voice of what they feel like so these moms have a clue. I dont want them to feel guilty, but get more of a grasp of how there kids feel.

so any thoughts would be appreciated. i know about adoption and kids who were TPR'd, but this is more for the kids who are planning on returning home to bmom, and what that feels like for them.