Tuesday, December 6, 2005

running away

running away


my older son, when frustrated, runs away...well, not really.

this is a typical scenario:

"N you need to calm down"

N smashes a few doors then says

"im running away" and out the door he goes.

In the past, i use to follow him, this would take hours, because everytime he would see me he would keep running (we were trying to do some attachement work when he first came to us, and we felt that if he saw us running after him, he would think we cared.....we thought he was testing ....but now i dont go...)

so he goes about two houses down, on the sidewalk, and keeps looking back to see if im watching. i just watch from the window, then he slowly comes back...lol

so, since he started this behavior again, i sat him down and told him

"what a great strategy that was, talking a walk outside when your upset to calm down"

he said
"yea, its my new strategy"

here is my dilemma....he does say 'running away' and my fear is, that when he is in 'his dark place', he really has limited control so thats why he runs. however, he is a scared scared child, but i think that when he gerts older he will have more nerve and start to go further if i dont nip this in the butt.

last week i sat him down and said
"hey buddy, you know when you run away, i think its fine if you need to go outside, but i want you to run away in the backyard so i can keep you safe"

he agreed......(but im no fool)

my son cannot process too much, especially when he is in his dark place and he just reacts....

any ideas on what i posted....i can really use some advice....im trying to take the power out of 'unning away' but im nervous that at the same time, he is going to get older and get more risker in his 'running away' because i dont make a big deal about it...