got to love 'em

got to love 'em...update

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well, yesterday was my first school field trip....AHHHHH!!!!

I got a call from my older sons teacher. she asked if it was ok to bring him on the field trip (most know why she would ask me...lol)

anyway, i said, sure, i think he will be fine. I told her things to look out for, and blah blah blah...but then i told her, "you know what, he has never had a problem in school, so im not to worried about him going"

they were going to the aquirium and she was concerned because of the 'dark places'. I told her he was there already, i brought him once before so he is familiar with it and it wasnt a issue.

then, in a hestitant voice, she said "well, i was thinking that maybe you would want to come and keep an eye on him.."....lol

I had to cancel all my work crap, and off to the field trip i go....

it was real interesting to see my son in school. I got to his class early, before we were going and just watched him interact with the other kids and how he listened to the teacher.

I kinda got a little sad, just watching him. you know when your just sitting there and then all of sudden you get a flood of emotions coming at you as you watch them play or something.....lol.

anyway, I kept thinking of all the horrible stuff, just looking at him. Thinking all the abuse, he is in a group home....etc. He will never be like any other kid.....i just got so sad......

He listened to the teacher, he went on the rug to hear the story, raised his hand when he was supposed to. He was so quiet and shy....

he kept looking at me across the room, made sure i was in eye shot of him and he just kept smiling and saying, "thats my dad over there"

then when the kids were getting ready, he ran to me and pulled out a vlantines day card and said "here daddy, i made you a valentines day card because i love you...." I nearly started bawling but i didnt. It was a real nice card too....lol

anyway, i was in charge of 4 kids, including my own....lol. I thought i was only going to keep my eye on my kid.....lol.

the teachers kept laughing at me and saying "your going to be tired tonight...lol" they were very supportive.

we got on the bus, he wanted to sit next to me and he wanted to sleep in my lap and me rub his back.....(under the shirt)...i was like....oh, god, not now.......here i am with my kid on the bus and all the kids are all talking to each other and i got my kid laying on my lap and me rubbing his back....(he just aint normal.....)

we had a great time, and the kids said i was the best chaperon they ever had, until..........i didnt buy them sovenirs......lol.

oh well, i was the best for a little while......

then i took my child home and we all had a family dinner and had a great visit......however, he is still trying to be the best little boy for us. its so sad that he thinks he has to be perfect to come home, no matter how many times we talk to him about it..

i actually enjoyed going on the field trip, plus i think it made my sons day that i came......