disruption question

disruption questions

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as all of you know, we are battling if we can keep our sons together under the same roof. we are pre-adoptive parents of two boys.

im sure your tired of hearing this, but it helps me try to figure out what to do when i type away....

the reason im on here today, is to ask a few questions, so here it goes:

quick overview, we have two boys, siblings, that came into our home at seperate times. both severly abused. the older child in our home was so out of control that we had to place him in a RTC via ambulance after 6 months, to give you an idea of how out of control his behaviors were. BOth children have attachment issues, just one is more severe then the other. both boys have attached to us, they look at us as their forever family and both want to be living here.

so here are my questions:

1. has anyone disrupted an adoption, and have kept in touch with that child due to them being siblings?

2. has anyone disrupted an adoption, and found out the child, that was disrupted, is much happier and ended up in a family that was more appropriate for the child?

3.. has anyone disrupted an adoption of a sibling group, and the child that you have 'kept' has anger towards you for giving up his brother?

4. has anyone decided to disrupt an adoption and kept in touch with the child and still contined to be their advocate, untill at least was placed in a foster home or another pre-adoptive home?

5. what is the likely hood of a 8 yr old getting adopted?

let me start with these questions, we are in the process of deciding if the boys are trauma reactive to each other, and they just cant live with each other. we are not sure yet.

as suggested by a member here, we will be watching our youngest sons behavior before and after family visits and family therapy with his brother. now that the holidays are over, im hoping we get a clearer picture.

this will probably the toughest decision that i have had to make in my whole life. I love these boys and i guess im must looking for hope that people have had this experience and then found it was the best decision for the child that was disrupted.