happy birthday, NOT!

you are probably all tired of me discussing my 7 yr old, who is now 8. We just celebrated his 8 birthday in a RTC, what fun that was....

I wont get into too much, but heres our problem. Plus a little update. Our child has been dx with PTSD, ADHD and attachment issues. Regarding RAD, the team at the RTC stated to us, they have worked with alot of RAD kids, and your child appears to have attached with you. The child does have attachment issues, but is very capable of attachment just is having a hard time believing that he has found a home and forever family and it scares him to death.

Now, heres our problem, he has come home on a few visits and a few times had his angry screaming, for nothing thats rational, but he has not lashed out. like hitting, throwing things. You can see him try so hard to hold it together becuase he is petrified that he wont be coming home, and he knows he has to learn to stay safe in order to that, but its hard for him, but he is trying his hardest.


in therapy he has been talking about his birthmom and his foster mom. from the beatings of his birth mom, and the "spankings" from his foster mom.

basically, the reason im writing, is there anyone out there who had some success with these children? all i hear is the horror and i truly love this little boy and cant imagine my life without him, but i cant imagine living the way we were living before he entered the RTC.

they are going to place him in a group home for 3 months (thats what DSS approved him for, then an evaluation after that)

He is not legally ours yet. it is understood that we will not be adopting him until we feel REAL comfortable with him, but i dont think we are ready to give up on him yet either.

im still trying to hold on the belief that he will turn around.

anyway, is there anyone out there with a success story? and if so, how long did it take and what did you do?

sorry to be a pain, im just not ready to give up, i go back and fourth. If you saw him and talked to him, you will know why, he is a beautiful little boy with big brown sad eyes, i have no picture of him with a real smile, all his smiles are forced .

the only time i have ever heard him really laugh is when i opened a bottle of pepsi and it exploded all over me, he thought that was the funniest thing, we all laughed, plus he brings that up now and then, but truly, thats the only time when I saw him laugh. He is just so scared to get close but is trying so hard to do it.

lately, when i give him a hug and kiss, he wants to do it in private, he doesnt want any kids to see him hugging his daddy. he is so worried about what other people think, he just turned 8 for christs sake.

anyway, hope there is some success stories out there.