Tuesday, August 9, 2005

refrigerator guidelines

refrigerator guidelines

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first id like to say sorry, i mentioned i would post this, and i forgot all about it...anyway, here it is. Not sure how many had seen this, but it is helpful when in crisis to go by some of these guidlines.

1. stay calm. keep things cool. use positive language. you can disagree and set limits without raising your voice.

2. go slow. progress is slow and painful in these children. be careful not to say "you can do it!" Progress can bring fear of abandoment. If the child becomes more capable and indepent, he fears adults will expect more of him and be less attentive.

3. Lower your expectations. set realistic goals for everyone. INvolve the child in setting goals. focus on smaller problems and break them down into steps. focusing on big problems can lead everyone to experience discouragement and failure.

4. maintain family routines. keep your connections. life goes on so have some fun.

5. find some time for nuturing movements (talking, games, giving compliments) and be spontaneous ("Give me five!")

6. help the child through ego-building experiences, things that make them feel good or that involve tackling a challenge such as chores, sports, music, crafts.

7. set limits. everyone needs to kow what the rules are. then stick by the limits.

8. all caregiveers have to be on the same page so develp strategies that work for everyone and be consitent.

9. do not tolerate abusive treatment. walk away of fall silent if necessary. talk again when child is calm.

10. dont try to reason with a child who is having an outburst. dont get defensive. talk little. simple set the limit, provide a soothing approach .

11. maintain safety. hold the child or call for help. have crisis plan ready.

12. be a good listener. do not discount what the child is saying. really try to hear the childs view of the world and understand that his thinking makes sence given his experiences and level of development. when you show respect and understanding for the child's viewpoint, he feels freer to tell you what hes thinking.

13. always remember that whenever you take care of a child, understand him, provide safety, soothing and unconditional love, that you are doing great good. these children can push your buttons and make slow progress, but never doubt that your love is immensely valuable to them.

thats it!...these are just the basics for the guidelines and with each one, they have reasons on why these guidlines help.

but the list was just kinda like a check list...who wants to go pick out the book on the shelf and turn to page...oh what was that page?...and look for the highlighted part that you thought would come in handy at times like these...

anyway, i hope this helps...sorry so late...

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