more issues

more issues

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as most know, my older son is now in a group home, he is not ready to be put up for adoption due to his issues.

he does have attachment issues, but has attached to us.

since he has been in the group home, they had limited our visits due to confusion that he might have.

well, they finally admitted yesterday that maybe this was not the best idea they had.

he is starting to act out, starting to smear his feces all over the walls, starting to urinate in the cornor of his room. (all RAD behaviors if you ask me)

he has never done anything like that before.

they said to be honest, they never had a family still want to be involved in a childs life after a disruption due to the guilt they feel.

i feel guilty, but i still want to be in the childs life. this is the first time they came across this.

he told his therapist that the only place in his whole life that he felt safe was with us and he doesnt want a new family and doesnt feel safe at the group home and he just wants to come home. he says he misses us.


i am so pist....we had this all planned out in the hospital...he was assured that we will still be there for him and we werent going anywhere no matter what....

but this new social worker comes along from the new DSS office, and decides in two hours at a meeting, whats best for him

well....it back fired....and my son has now payed a huge price for this. all the work we did, has just been wasted. how can he ever trust or attach again to anyone. why should he? everyone leaves...

i said, i understand why they feel he might be confused, but he is confused now...he goes to group home and we disappear...thats confusing to him also...no explanation, no nothing, just, were here, were gone.

yes, i can see if he came home for 'visits' that might be confusing too. but isnt it a better confusing.....at least he knows that soemone else hasnt abandoned him.

i rather him be confused on something positive then something negative.

i am so sick of people who do not know my son decide what is best...i have psych, his old dss office, and other professionals that have written letters, but they wont budge.

they are damaging my child and his actions are proving it.

now wonder why these kids get so messed up, they keep yanking them away without any reasons and blame us for it.

in order for people to have healthy attachments, they have to be giving a chance to have a heatlhy attachment. this is not a diffulcult concept.....

my son did this with us, he let us in, he trusted us (as much as he could) and we did alot of attachement stuff with him.....

to be only erased in a two hour discussion by this social worker.

i am so angry!!!!!!

we have a meeting on 12/14 and if they dont play by my rules (since they admit they never done this before) then i will pull out the guns. im tired of playing nice nice with these people, i have been dong it for a while. and if they give me crap, i will get a lawyer, my son has a write to see his brother.

now they are saying they are not putting him up for adoption just yet do to his new issues....well how the heck did he get these new issues?......i wonder...

so here we have a child, that has no family, is not up for getting a new family, but he has people that truly love him and want to help him and be there for him, but arent allowed to see or talk too that often because this will hurt him.

i must be missing something.

im pist, can you tell.......and i will fight like crazy to get him to have a visit with us on christmas.

sorry for venting....but this is what ive been dealing with the last few days.

when do the people who know him the best have a right to say what they feel will be good for him.