im losing it

im losing it

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hi all,

i think im losing it over here....i seem to be having a harder time with my disruption of my son.....i thought it was suppose to get easier?....

my younger son is now looking at his brother pictures and says he really misses him and he wants him to come home.....he never even mentioned that much, but lately it seems to be really bothering him

my older son, is now having a real diffulcult time with getting a new family, he is always sad and says that he just wants to come home.

we both are just getting more depressed....

i know the holidays are coming and this is probably not helping maters much....but were sinking fast here.

i want him to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!

my younger son said to me last night "since 'N' cant come home, can I get another brother"...

i said "where will we get another brother from?"

and he said

"from a family that doesnt want them anymore"

i nearly died....does he think that his birth family just didnt want him anymore?

i said "well your birth family wanted you, they just couldnt take care of you, and we love you so much and we were able to take care of you and thats why you are with us now."

i know he truly loves us, and thats not the problem, but my problem is that he thinks that his birth family just didnt want him.

plus his foster mom, gave her 10day notice when she had him, before we got him, because she couldnt take care of him anymore, (hes not an easy child) and as wonderful as she was, im sure her 'burnt out' issues had to show...and wonder what he thought about that?

i dont know...maybe im thinking too hard........

just seems to be harder to deal with this...