we finally told them

we finally told them

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hi guys,

it feels like a long time since ive been on...so i have a few updates to report..all positive.

first, we finally told our sons about their brothers. we told them in a "guess what? we have great news..." kinda way.

they were both thrilled. we did tell them that their baby brother was still with birthmom and my older son said "is he going to die?"

we assured him that there were people looking out and not to worry.

we brought our boys to visit their 3 yr old brother, who was adopted in another family already, and that turned out great.

there came a point when the little guy kept reaching out to my older son to pick him up...so he did... ..it amazed me how careful he was with him but just the fact he opened his arms to let his younger brother climb on him brought a tear to my eye. just to watch my older son be so gentle and loving, was amazing to me.

the boys adoptive mom said "wow, he has never done that to anyone"

maybe there is some biological thing that happens with siblings, i dont know, but this little guy just loved climbing on him.

it was a great day and all the kids had a great time...there were 6 boys...ages 3 - 9 ...so needless to say, it was high energy afternoon.

the adoptive mom has 3 bio boys...her hands were pretty full.

anyway...pictures pictures pictures...you know how that goes.

so now we have no more secrets, the boys know everything, the last secret we had was about their brothers.....

my younger son was thrilled also, but then went onto other things....they even look alike....my older son picked up on that pretty quick...

now, on to some more news....

we finally got to meet, the RTC and DSS and everyone agrees that we would be the perfect family for our older son...the RTC, which have been our greatest advocates up to this point, were stating to DSS that they will be coming up with a wrap-around service plan for us and our son and that they will be paying for it.

so the next three months, we will be discussing all the support that we will need in place before our son comes home, and that a 24 hour hotline to the RTC (which they have) will be part of it...so if he starts up with his issues, at any time, we could call and they can come and help....

they said that he will probably be in and out of resiendential for a very long time, and they will be there so he knows who they are and what to expect.

they always keep two beds open for respite, so all we have to do is call, and he can even stay a full weekened if we need just take a couple of days to breath.

they have noticed great improvments, as do we, but they said there will be some time when he will need to go back to them...

they will be doing sibling therapy, therapy in the home, having people come over to help with the kids...blah blah blah....

they want to keep him in school with them and they will get our town to pay for it.

it all just seems so hard to believe.

i know deep down that if we didnt disrupt, that our son would still be in limbo...as much as i hated the fact they didnt listen to me a while ago about his medications.....at least now he is getting the services he needs and we are not CRAZY or we wernt able to parent him because we didnt know what we were doing.

the RTC who has had him for this long, said there would be no parents to parent him without help. So that made us feel a little better.

this RTC is big on the RAD/PTSD stuff, and they said though he does have an "anxious attachment" he does not have RAD, it is very clear to them that he defintly has attached to us, and that he can attach.

his language processing issues are so severe that he just gets so easily frustrated because he just doesnt understand what is being asked or even for him to 'find his words'.

they really are not sure on some of his other issues...if you met him, you would know what i mean...he does have some odd behaviors, like wearing his clothes backwards, not because of his SI stuff believe it or not, he just doesnt even realize it....

it is actually one of his most endearing qualities, because he just doesnt know certain things...as much as you tell him, he still doesnt quite get it.

anyway, i went on and on....i just thought id give a quick update.