todays the day

todays the day

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i just got a message last night to tell me that they are telling my son that he wont be returning home.

i just want to hold him when they give him the news, but i cant.

its killing me.....didnt sleep at all last night thinking about it...i hope they know what they are doing....I just felt like calling them and saying...."please..your making a terrible mistake, put him on the risperdol and let him come home in case it works...." but they wont..they made up their minds...this stinks!!!!!

yesterday i brought my younger son to his orientation of kindgerten...he was so nervous....

of course when we got there...all the chairs and tables were taking where the kids are making a drawing....so we had to go to the back of the room, where a table was without the crayons and paper and sit and wait......i felt like such an outsider.

the teacher was going around taking pictures of the kids, individual to put up on the board...but my son didnt want his picture taken....he had his shy face on...

then as the time went on...i got him coloring and trying to get him involved....we stayed while other parents and their kids left....i just wanted him to feel comfortable..and i thought that with less people in the room, he could take it all in...

then, he finally agreed to get his picture taken..so we went up to the teacher and I said that he is ready to take his picture now...

I wasnt pushing the picture on him, i just didnt want him left out...(my issue probably.)

when she took the picture....she said "oppppssss,,,out of film..sorry...can you bring in a picture of him tomorrow...."

i was so angry...how can you run out of film...so today...guess what?...my son stands out again...all the kids have a picture of themselves from an automatic camera on their first day of school and my son has a regular picture of him, surronded by pumpkins in a pumpkin patch from last october......

i feel my kids just cant get a break....i know it seems like a little thing, as im sure his teacher thought it was no big deal...im sure my son didnt even give it a second thought.....

why do i feel so lousey inside when it comes to my kids...why cant we just have a day like every other family?

why cant my kids just get a break...

im obviously a little sensitive today....

anyway, just thought id vent...