Attachment therapy

Last night i went to a training on attachement. One of the the people from ATNE was leading it.

i guess i just want to know if this is common in AT?

here is a scenario:

child behaves bad and is sent to room due to 'safty'.

child then calms down and all is good. (which makes sence)

but then here was the question asked by someone.

what if the child has trauma in the bedroom, what if it is the bedroom that the child cannot handle.

the responce was
"well, if you tell the child to stop or they will go to their room, and the child then continues, no matter what the child did, you put the child in the room,"

then further explained
"if i was scared of snakes, and there were snakes in the room, i was told that i shouldnt touch that, chances are is that i would not touch that, because i dont want to go in the room, but if i 'touch then i go int he room'

but my feeling was that these kids dont get the cause and effect and wouldnt this be more traumatizing to the child? IF the goal is to build trust, by putting the child in the room that he assoc with trauma, wont that be counter productive?

there were alot of good things said, dont get me wrong, but some things i just had a hard time understanding.

can one of you expert people out there help me understand this....

as some know, we are looking to get our son's AT, but when i hear things like this, i want to run for the hills....
__________________

pink gooshie thing

My son this morning said he wanted some playdoe, i told him we didnt have any. He became a broken record.

then he said "find me a pink gooshie thing" in his 'argumentative voice.'

he just kept going on and on with insisting me helping him find this pink gooshie thing.

I told him we dont have a pink gooshie thing, and he insisted that i go to the store and buy him this.

this went on and on with me just staying calm and saying we dont have a pink gooshie thing.

finally i couldnt take it, so i told him i was goinng on the bedroom to get away from the conversation.

he of course followed me, so i closed the door on him and he tried to break down the door to come in.

any suggestions, this is an on going issue and it is getting worse.

i need some expert thoughts

i am starting a group at work for parents who had their kids either removed from them, or are still with them, who have substance abuse, homelessness, and possibly mental health issues that werent being treated.

One of the things we will be focusing on, is for bparents to get the support that they need for themselves, and work on their recovery, like managing AA meetings, or things of that nature.

as most of you know, taking care of kids, is diffulcult, but to take care of kids who were either neglected, or abused, is even harder, and then have the bparent trying to do her/his best to get his/her act together, and being a single parent (in most cases) land yet then raise his/her kids, is almost an impossible task, i cant even imagine it.

so....here is why im writing this thread. I want to find out more about the children, vs the adult.

What does a child look like when they immediatly get removed from bmom and placed with you. what kinda of behaviors do they have.

what do you think a child experiences when they get reunited with their bmom?

what do you think a child experiences when they are goinng through the visitation with bmom?

i am using mom, more then dad here, because the work is mostly around the woman we are treating.

keep in mind, these children that i am talking about WILL be moving back with bmom if she keeps to here treatment plan.

so these questions arent for foster/adopt, they are for foster parents who are fostering the children till the bparents get their 'act' together.

any thoughts....i want to put together a small presentation in the childs voice of what they feel like so these moms have a clue. I dont want them to feel guilty, but get more of a grasp of how there kids feel.

so any thoughts would be appreciated. i know about adoption and kids who were TPR'd, but this is more for the kids who are planning on returning home to bmom, and what that feels like for them.

sometimes i just want to.....

well, you know what i m ean.

my older son is making us work again as parents. and its not the fun kind of work.

his 'projection' is getting so bad and i am having a hard time dealing with it.

"someone stole this"
"help me now find it"
"you dont love me because you wont help me"

this is constant when h e loses something, and of course due to his 'issues' this is pretty much all the time.

he can never take any responsiblity for anything, its always someone else, and im getting pretty tired of it.

he goes 'right there' and it is getting to us.

what is this?

oh, he did great in school again...he got 'student of the week' because he is working so hard....

i know he is holding together at shcool and letting it out at home, but enough is enough.

as most know, we are on a chip system, im going to give him 5 chips a day and say these are your helping chips, so when you ask for help, you have to give me a chip...and you have up to 5 'helps'.

because after all, everything is a freaking emergency...when he asks for help, you would think he was stuck under a pile of wreckage bleeding to death, thats how loud he gets with it.

but still.....what is this, he doesnt seem to take any responsibility for anything he does.

too much fantasy

i know i have talked about my son playing with his 'stuffies' (beanie babies)and how he 'shakes them' when he plays with them. The play is usually two of them fighting, action figure kinda thing fighting....

my younger son joins in SOMETIMES, but its usually my older sons choice of play.

now, i never minded it before, because it beats tv and video games.

but latly im starting to worry because it seems thats all my son does.

i watched him close this weekend, even when we went to 'the waterfall' by our house to play, and he had to bring his 'stuffys' along.

i noticed that he has been playing this game, i would say, 80 percent of his waking hours.

he is either eating, watching cartoons, or playing this game.

even when we go on field trips. he needs to bring his 'stuffies' with him.

is this odd? or do other kids play like this? im worried that he is escaping into this fantasy, which can be healthy if its not all the time.

well, im taking them to the corn maze today, we will see if he chooses to play with these stuffies, or have fun in the maze.

maybe im worrying to much....i dont know..

please pass the cheese

with that whine.......

do they ever stop? My older son had his first sleep over with his friend. they did great together and then m y younger son had a play date with his friend while the older onne stayed home with me.

so i decided to take him hiking...not in the real sence of the word, but to look at this waterfall by our house in the park.

as soon as we got out of the car, he starts clinging to me, sticking his head in my kidneys (i hate when he does this)

he says to me the people are weird, then he wants to hold my hand the whole time, but hes 10 yrs old and it looks kinda odd......

there are days, when he goes in his 'weird' place, a nd i wish he didnt look so normal, i wish i could put a football helmet on his head so people would know that he has some 'special need issues'

so, we walked, about 10 minutes and he kept whinning..."its too hot, im tired' this isnt fun' too many people, the people are all weird and stupid...blah blah blah

here i am thinking im spending some onne on one time with him because this will be good, but all he did was whine and i was sick of it.

now, here is my next issue. Does anyone elses kid do this.

he forgets where he puts everything...i mean everything...he doesnt have the 'smarts' to keep track of his things.

i have found things out side, in the bathroom, in the garage.

but then when he cant find something....he starts yelling blaming us for 'stealing it' or 'taking it'

then when i try to tell him that i didnt wear his shoes, or that i was playing with stuffed animal, he continues to blame me or who ever is in the nearest promixity to craziness.

then he says 'help me find it?'

and if we dont help him find it right away, he goes off...he gets so frustrated.

he doesnt seem to get that we dont touch his things, that he is the one who losses them...its always someone elses fault.

i always tell him that i cant help someone who is yelling at me...but then that just makes him even more angry.

when he finally asks me nice, i will help, and i usually find his thing, because all he does is folllow me around while i look, God forbide he looks in a different place.

and i will tell you, this gets very tiring....

i dont know how to deal with this. but he is not fun to be aroiund when he misplaces something....i mean you can be putting out a fire annd he will rage and yell that you are not helping him look for his stuffed animal..

anyway, my older son and I had some alone time today, and im thinking it really wasnt worth it...it just wasnt fun....at least for me.

the only part that he liked, is when i stopped at the deli and got him a soda....woo hoo...a freaking soda...

you see, when i do this kinda stuff with my younger son, he just loves it, he loves the 'alone time'...he likes the 'father and son' outings....

my older son 'thinks' he likes it.

this cant be happening...

guess who came home with the principle award? my little guy............

so he got two tickets for chillis.....what fun

i cant believe my kids are doing so well at school...its kind of earry.....

my older son is getting more frustrated with his school work, but he is using his words, instead of his hands...

he is going for a sleep over tomorrow night with a friend of his....im a little nervous about it, but everyone else seems excited about it, so i guess ill let him go.

his friend also has special needs, and we do play dates and stuff and the boys are fine together.

then its special time with my younger son which were looking forward to.

anyway.....so far so good.

we did get the game boy back.....the teacher got it back for him.

im just dropping it, and he is not allowed to bring any toys to school anymore....(i thought that was a rule anyway)

anyway, im hoping that my younger son, by next year can get mainstreamed into a regular class...if he cant, then he has one more year and gets transfered out in the fourth grade.....

i started reading with my older son....its pre-school reading and he still has problems with it....

my younger son just cant read at all.......

but slowly but surely...our goal was to work on the behaviors before school stuff....and i think were moving into the right direction

for today anyway...........

oppositional behavoir

my younger son has become very oppositional. I'm not sure if its an age appropriate thing and hes testing the waters, he is 9.

He has resulted in destroying things in the house (not as bad as his brothers), he might tear down a picture off the wall, not framed, just art work he or is brother done. He also has been 'screaming' so loud when he doesnt get his way. This is not like him. But it seems to have been increasing.

Also, he still has the lying problem, and not sure how we are going to handle that one.

His tantrums dont last long, and once his time out is over, or he moves onto something else, its like a light switch, he is back to his old self again.

My older son, continues to really do well, and loves school. He still has alot of learning problems, but he has come such a long way. I remember when we first met him, he wouldnt hug at all, and just stand there, now its constant, and God forbide you leave the house without hugging him at least 5 times....

Its actually been a pain to be honest, he will chase you down the street in the car until he gets his numerous hugs.....

oct is here, hold onto your seats

oct 31 is when my kids were removed from bmom, and usually when fall starts, the kids go a little nutty, but for some reason, im still in denial as fall is my favorite season.

well, i get the call from school that my older son was very frustrated today, he did not tantrum, but did his 'anger stuff'

he went to the nurses office to seat down for a while.

so here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he told me that he sold his gameboy for one dollar..

now he is mad because the kid didnt give him a dollar but kept the game boy..

i know, lessons learned, but my kid would give you the shirt on his back if he thought you would be his friend, he still thinks that giving things to people will make them like him

but the truth is, i want that freaking game boy back, it didnt cost a dollar!!!!!!!!!!!!

would it be weird to call his parents and ask for the game boy back? or should i just say 'oh well...you live you learn'

he has done this in the past, and well, he doesnt quite get the cause and effect, so he just keeps doing it.

but the game boy.....that thing cost me alot of money.

he is going through so much, and at times like this, we tighten the house a little bit with certain things, because we know what can happen if we dont.

what would you do, knowing why he gave the kid the game boy in the first place?...

risperdol

last Thursday i forgot to give my older son his morning meds...which includes risperdol

when he got home, his note from school said he had a GREAT day, and really worked hard.

then about 1 hour of being home, he starts to tantrum.....i cant even remember what he tantrumed over, something that really didn't make any sense to get that upset over.

it lasted for a while anyways, the crazys were back.

could it be the risperdol? or lack of risperdol i should say?

i have not seen a tantrum like that in a long time.

i always thought risperdol stays in the system for a while, does anyone know?

could of it been the missing dose of risperdol, or was it just him being him.

ahhhh..that feels good

AHHHHH that feels good.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi guys,

here is another attachment tip. i have been doing this since my kids came and i have never seen it written down, and since today is a little cold here, i thought id share.

when i put my kids down to bed, and get them dressed in the morning, i throw their clothes/ PJ's/ and blanket in the dryer for a few minutes.

I forgot how much they loved it, because it was cold this morning here, so i did the dryer thing....the smile on their faces when i put their 'warm clothes' on, i thought that i bet this helps with attachment.

getting that warm and cozy feeling before school and before bed.

anyway, never saw it written down and i just thought id pass it on.....try it, watch the smile on your kids face...

you want to work with WHO?

you want to work with WHO?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok.....im glouting again...sorry guys, but lets face it, over the years, there was nothing but horror with my kids, so just bare with me for the next week or so when i talk about how shocked i am about my kids.

as some of you know, my younger son was kicked out of kindergarting and sent to a different public school because they had that 'special' class.

he just couldnt sit still and his behaviors were off the charts, and they couldnt teach him...so they gave up!!!!!!!! (but i wont go there)

his new kindergartin teacher told us that he was not what she expected and he was learning and doing really well.

we really liked this teacher, she was young, but very tough....something i know my son responds better to..... (at least he responds to my DW better, because she is tougher then i...im still a freaking marshmello) but i digress.

well, come at the end of the year, he did pretty well and learned alot.

well, he is in second grade now, and i got a letter from his kindergartin teacher who asked if she could use my son because she is getting her masters and she would love to work with my son. (she always had a soft spot for him)

of course we said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i guess my point, is that someone actually wants to work with my kiddo, and who knows him.......

so needless to say, my son gets a little special tutoring, because this teacher picked my son to work with.

not sure what she is thinking....but i just put a big 'ol checkmark next to the YES...........

i must dreaming.....but dont wake me, im enjoying this dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pinch me, i must be dreaming

pinch me, i must be dreaming

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, my older son, came home on friday from school.

in his backpack, i read another perfect day (not surprised, since at home he feels 'safe' enough to let us know how he is really feeling... ..arent we lucky?.. )

but anyway, also in his backpack was 'student of the week' award, which is a huge deal!!!!!!!!

i remember last year when i went to pick up my younger son and over the loud speaker i heard "maryjane smith won student of the week this week"

and maryjane walked down to the office, got her award, and handshakes, and it was a huge thing.....

i remember sitting there feeling a little sad, thinking that my kids will never experience such a thing as that....

until...............

i am so stunned by this....im still in shock. he seems to make light of it, or forgot about it...but i keep telling everyone that i know that he won this....

im not sure if he wants me to, or if he even cares, but i can see a smile on his face when i tell someone.

i will never forget two years ago when i saw him get a little award in his class and i told him how proud i was of him and he asked me "what does proud mean?" because no one had ever said that to him before.

i think he gets it to a certain degree now, by the smile on his face.

he did tell me this morning though that the reason he 'tantrums' at home alot is because he doesnt like school...

however, he only tantrumed the first few days of the week at home after school...

I am trying to distract him the minute he gets in
the car.........

he also told me that the reason he hates his afterschool is because he misses us all day...

very sweet, but im not sure im buying into that yet....lol.
he can go so far until i start to get my guard my up..

oh, heres a biggy...

he wants to take violin lessons...

so we rented a violin for him and he already is practicing...

i just hope he doesnt get too frustrated and decide to smash it....those little things cost alot of money....


he promised me he wouldnt...

but if this music thing takes.....i would be so happy...he has his first lesson tomorrow...got my fingers crossed for this one.

practice makes perfect....sometimes

practice makes perfect...sometimes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, my older boys violin lessons started to day, i think im going to be learning violin myself because i have to practice with him.

he LOVED it. i realize its his first day, but he couldnt wait to come home and practice, and that he did, for 20 minutes...

he was pluking that violen like no ones business

thank god we have french doors on our dining room, because i was able to 'shut' the door, and watch him....

so we call our dining room the music room and we need to keep the doors closed so he disturb us, i mean, so he wont be disturbed...what was i thinking...

but so far so good, no frustration, was really enjoyin it and i also learned what an 'A' note is on violin.

one of these days, i will tell you when i was in 3rd grade i took violin lessons also......oh the horror!!!!!!!!!!

pinch me, am I dreaming?

pinch me, am i dreaming?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, my older son, who most of you know, came home on friday from school.

in his backpack, i read another perfect day (not surprised, since at home he feels 'safe' enough to let us know how he is really feeling... ..arent we lucky?.. )

but anyway, also in his backpack was 'student of the week' award, which is a huge deal!!!!!!!!

i remember last year when i went to pick up my younger son and over the loud speaker i heard "maryjane smith won student of the week this week"

and maryjane walked down to the office, got her award, and handshakes, and it was a huge thing.....

i remember sitting there feeling a little sad, thinking that my kids will never experience such a thing as that....

until...............

i am so stunned by this....im still in shock. he seems to make light of it, or forgot about it...but i keep telling everyone that i know that he won this....

im not sure if he wants me to, or if he even cares, but i can see a smile on his face when i tell someone.

i will never forget two years ago when i saw him get a little award in his class and i told him how proud i was of him and he asked me "what does proud mean?" because no one had ever said that to him before.

i think he gets it to a certain degree now, by the smile on his face.

he did tell me this morning though that the reason he 'tantrums' at home alot is because he doesnt like school...

however, he only tantrumed the first few days of the week at home after school...

I am trying to distract him the minute he gets in
the car.........

he also told me that the reason he hates his afterschool is because he misses us all day...

very sweet, but im not sure im buying into that yet....lol.
he can go so far until i start to get my guard my up..

oh, heres a biggy...

he wants to take violin lessons...

so we rented a violin for him and he already is practicing...

i just hope he doesnt get too frustrated and decide to smash it....those little things cost alot of money....


he promised me he wouldnt...

but if this music thing takes.....i would be so happy...he has his first lesson tomorrow...got my fingers crossed for this one.

for a friend

for a friend

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi all,
im posting this for a friend of mine with the hope of some of you more knowledagable people can help.

im cutting and pasting. Here goes:

I need help with an FAS/IEP situation.

My youngest daughter, B, has fetal alcohol syndrome. She came here as a foster child 2 1/2 years ago when she was 3 years old (adoption final this past April). With her FAS she has some qualities of ADHA such as extreme hyperness, complete lack of focus, no impulse control. She also has some qualities of Autism such as self mutilation (i.e. pulling her lip till it bleeds, digging at her sides, pulling her own hair, ect), rocking motions when stressed, and repetitive movements. I also think, but am not sure, that her random babbling (talking non-stop but making no sense at all) falls under the Autism qualities.

She stayed home with me the rest of that first school year and all summer. In the fall we enrolled her in headstart. They did an IEP on her and she qualified for both speech and OT. While in headstart I was repeatedly called to come and pick her up because they couldn't control her behavior. She has no cause and effect and to say she's impulsive would be a great under-exaggeration. She literally does what she thinks. So, it was a rather dismal learning year for her as far as preschool went. At the end of the school year I requested that they do another (forgot to mention the first one I had done) evaluation to see if she qualified for our local special ed school. This time she qualified and she was put into a special ed preschool.

One thing I did discover over the summer before she started was that caffeine has a serious counter effect on her and it will calm her down. Not calm and focused like your typical student, but very calm and very focused for B who is never calm and can never focus. So, she started the SE preschool and things went very well. They have one teacher for ever two students and B thrived in that environment. The caffeine also really helped. She almost completely stopped hurting herself and she started to make sense much of the time when she talked. She still had no cause and effect, no impulse control, and she still rocked. She did calm down and was able to focus and follow directions. About 1/2 way through the year they took her off the caffeine and she maintained her behavior. At the end of the school year they informed me she had done so well that she no longer qualified for SE preschool and would be starting regular kindergarten in the fall and still get speech and OT services at the regular school.

So, kindergarten started six days ago and today I had my first parent teacher conference about her behavior and abilities. She's lost, well beyond what is normal for a new kindergartner. She can't stand in line, she won't come in from recess, she can't figure out how to get through the lunch line unless someone walks her through it, ect ect ect. I had sent a vault pop on the first day, but the teacher hasn't used it yet. She's also started doing some serious rocking on the way home from school. What the teacher would like to do is put B down to young five's. Hubby and I think this is just sticking a band aid over a serious gash and all it's going to do is postpone the problem for one year.

So, here's some of the things we are thinking and/or the school is thinking.

1) Have the teacher start using the vault pop at school and see if it makes much of a difference. If not, have her doctor look into putting her on ADHD med's (her bio brother - FAE instead of FAS - takes them and it's been a miracle worker for him - but again, his symptoms aren't 1/2 as bad) and see if they can get her calm and focused.

2) This is the school. Put her back down to a young five's program or a before K program. Possibly send her back to headstart which will take her at her age. See if in a year she's better equipped to handle kindergarten.

3) And I'm hoping Lucy can help with me this! See if she qualifies for services under the Americans with disabilties act to see if we can get her her own aid for the classroom. She CAN focus and she CAN learn if she has no more than one adult per two children. She proved that in the SE preschool.

I would like to know what you guys think, would like any and all input, and would like any and all suggestions. They are setting up this meeting and I would love to be able to walk in there confident on what I want done. Otherwise, I fear B will just get pushed off to the side. I'm really worried for this little girl. She's going to fall through the cracks in the system and I really don't want to see that. She can't keep up with a regular classroom and she doesn't qualify for a special ed classroom. I can just see her getting further and further behind while her self esteem crashes to rock bottom. We already have to worry about sex and drugs as a teenager with her because she doesn't understand cause and effect, she's gullible beyond belief, and she has no impulse control. Add absolutely no self esteem to that, and I'm just scared for her. Please help!
__________________

this cant be happening

this cant be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, im starting to freak a little,

i picked up my older son from after school, and he had a big smile on his face and he said he had a good time. (he didnt have that anxiety face that i remember he usually had when i picked him up)

and i thought 'tthank god' first day of after school, and he is smiling

well, the minute he got in the car...blow out...

then it was time for homework....he asked for me to help, and so i said 'sure,' and sat down...

when i picked up the paper he started yelling at me and calling me...well, you know, those choice words.

i know he wasnt frustrated over the homework, because he didnt even look at it before going into a meltdown.

i told him "well, when you calm down, or when you say you are ready, i would be more then happy to start this over"

of course he yelled "he was ready" but he was far from ready.

not sure how to handle these blowouts, im ****ed if i do and ****ed if i dont (wonder if that wil be bleeped out... )

he did end up doing it after work with no problems. He did admit to me that he doest know whats going on in his class, which i believe. I wrote a note to his teacher telling her that it is a concern for him.

he usually has no problems with the homework, because he is petrified if he didnt do it, he would get in trouble.

so when i refused to help him, well, lets just say it didnt go over well.

any ideas....

oh, in case who dont know history...heres a little

this is my older sons first year after being in a RTC for 2 yrs, in a 'regular school' but he is in the 'special class'

he started last week and has gotten tons of praise from the teacher, not problems at all.

he started his after school yestereday for tthe first time, though he does like it, not sure if the day is too long....
__________________

what a morning.

what a morning!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, my older son was in full rage this morning, to the point where he ended up hyperventiling.

I must admit, that this morning i ran out of patience and i raised my voice to him....but My god, he just wouldnt stop.

he couldnt find his sneakers and thats what started it, he ran around the house yelling at everyone that they stole them and they we were all being mean...

he started to rant and rave and told me to help him find them, and i said when you can ask me nicely....

well, that just started the ball rolling of how horrible i am, the slamming of the walls, you know the drill...

this kept up...then my younger son says "daddy, you need to help him, he is getting real angry..."

which i saw that fear in my little ones face, which kills every time....

then he said "ill help you...." he was just trying to get my son to calm down.

then i thought, 'gee, i have this little kid trying to calm him down, and daddy just want to get away from him'

well, finally, i said 'did you leave them in my car"

and he said yes and he put them on.

here is where i mess up...he had wet his pants the last two days (something very new for him, but i blammed on him being anxious at school)

i said to him...you have to take a shower this morning..and he said, "no, im riding my bike"

well, he was NOT riding his bike, he was taking a shower.

so in his room he goes, and he is slamming the walls, the whole nine yards again.....

he kept saying he cant wait to move out of here, he wants to go back to the RTC, doesnt want to live iwth us...

then finally my younger sons bus pulled up, and well, guess who missed the bus because i couldnt leave my older son.....


so then i was fuming, i coiuld feel it in me...

and he yelled, "you dont love me!!!!! i want to go back to RTC"

and then i yelled back.."fine, ill help you pack!!"

he then started stickin the middle finger up at me, yelling obsentities, how much he hatees me...the whole nine yards..

he finally started to hyperventilat...i calmed him down, then in the shower he went....still not happy...

he finally calmed down....but he remembers all this crap...

i blew this morning....

i made brownies last night, his favoirte, so on my way to work i stopped at school, and dropped off a brownie for him at the office so he has it for lunch...

but, im not a morning person...

here is my question though........because this happens alot.

when he loses something (which is most of the time) he gets so frustrated, by the time he asks for help, he has already blammed me or someone else for stealing it....

and his asking for help is more out of frustration and it sounds like this...."you need to help me find it?" in an angry tone....

what do i do? the "when you can ask me nice, id be more then happy to help you?" doesnt seem to work. just makes him more angry.

do i just keep doing it and stick to my guns and keep repeating it?....

do i just say "say please" then when he does, help him.

i have no idea, im at a lost....if the goal for him is to not reach that boiling point, i would help him, but it doesnt feel comfortable for me to help me.

any thoughts out there....

any love and logic ideas?....i need some guidance

I'm your worst nightmare

i'm your worst nightmare.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, took the family to the drivin theatre for the first time last night.

both boys have come home with excellent reports from school, and i told them if they did go, we would go.

i forget to mention in home too....so i was out of luck...that wasnt in the deal....lol..

so off we go....blankets, pillows, stuffed animals that they had to bring..

well, it was fine except...

my kids, well, they were excited and had trouble sitting, so they kept going from outside on the lawn chairs to inside of the car and back again.

however, everytime they opened the door...the alarm would go off as would the lights start flashing.

needless to say, we didnt make to many friends at the drive in....

so if you went to the drivin last night, and there was this car who's alarm kept going off, whose lights kept going on and off...

well, it was us and im sorry, but my kids were just darn excited....

but we will go back, because it was fun..except i think we will have to park in the last row...

not sure what we were thinking.....but you live, you learn...

tonight we have our respite worker coming, and were going to go see kathy griffith the comedian. shes a hoot...

and its a break for us..........
__________________

school issue

school issue

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi all,

ok, here is an issue that i have.

my older son, who is doing just great, continues to go to the 'special' school that goes with the RTC that he was in.

there are only about 7 kids in his class with two aids.

anyway, he is having a hard time in school, with running out of the class, and yellling and screamng.

at home, we have none of that...well, most of the time..

i was wondering if it would be appropriate for me to go to school with him and sit with him and see what the problem is.

i know my son gets reall frustrated with things, so im thinking that maybe i can help him

the other day i gave him a book, and he was so proud to read me it....no prompts from me.(but i knew he could read it because it a very easy book to read.)

anyway,, has anyone ever done that, or would the teacher be offended if i did that.

i dont want to make any waves.

then the other part of me is saying, well, at least its not home he is doing this, so maybe i just be quiet...

whos a proud daddy?

whos a proud daddy?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi all,

just a quick update.....i went to see my younger son in the school sing a long.

I was just so proud of him being on stage.....i love that crap...

then, when it was all over, i ran up to hiim and he loved to see me there, but when i went to give him a hug he pushed me away......

i know i know.... but i cant still be sad..

but i was just so proud of him....

as for my health....had my MRI on monday....talk about freeaking out....have you ever had one of those.....

i had to tell the guy halfway through to take me out because i had a scratch....UGGGHHHH!!!!!!

hope i never have to do that again ....im way to 'hyper' for something like that. I had to be in there for 40 min.

regressing, it cant be....

HI all,

well, i havnt really been on all that much, things were going so well for a while, and then....boom,,

my older guy who is still in a RTC, has become very demanding lately. Yes, he is better then before he went into the RTC, but it seems the meds arent working like they use to.

This morning was real tough, he wanted to go to the RTC NOW so he can play with his gameboy.

I told him that will be fine but i have to take a shower, and then he started yelling that he wants to go now before school starts.

I told him that he could play with his gameboy here and he got mad and said he wants to play with it there.

Like usual, i started to reason with him.... ...like that was going to work (high hopes i guess)

now my younger son, since friday night, has been off his rocker....he spent alot of time out this weekend over stupid things. Just real attention seeking stuff....so i tried spending more time with him, but that didnt seem to work..

when i picked him up from school on friday, he said that his friend had parents that looked cool, and we dont, and he liikes his friends parents.

ok, his friends parents are kinda young, and well, they dress like, well, how should i put this....hmmmm...clothes that some woman should not wear..(think spandex in the cookie alley in the supermarket) and a grown man who wears his baseball cap on backwards.....(im sure you can vision this, or least now what i am talking about)

well, i blew it because i was getting angry in the car and i said to him "would you rather live with them?"

of course he got mad and said he doesnt want to talk about it, i told him i am sorry..but since then, he has just been off his rocker. I dont think it was what i said, because he was a little odd when i picked him up and then became a little odd when he was talking about his friends parents.

anyway, here is my question....with my older son, during his meltdown about wanting to play his gameboy at the RTC, i asked him if he rather give up some sleepovers on school nights so he can wake up in the RTC so he can play his gameboy....

he said "Yes"

so im wondering if i should let him keep to his word, (he did say it when he was in his 'weird place'...but i got to tell you, his disrespect and demands are really starting to get to me...maybe we just need a break for a week and not do our sleepover on wednesday.

or maybe we should let himlearn that when he makes demands like that and starts yelling there is consequnences and that he wont be able to come home.

I dont know.....the problem is, by wednesday, he will totally forget that this ever happened and he just wont understand why he is not coming home.