ahhhh..that feels good

AHHHHH that feels good.

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hi guys,

here is another attachment tip. i have been doing this since my kids came and i have never seen it written down, and since today is a little cold here, i thought id share.

when i put my kids down to bed, and get them dressed in the morning, i throw their clothes/ PJ's/ and blanket in the dryer for a few minutes.

I forgot how much they loved it, because it was cold this morning here, so i did the dryer thing....the smile on their faces when i put their 'warm clothes' on, i thought that i bet this helps with attachment.

getting that warm and cozy feeling before school and before bed.

anyway, never saw it written down and i just thought id pass it on.....try it, watch the smile on your kids face...

you want to work with WHO?

you want to work with WHO?

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ok.....im glouting again...sorry guys, but lets face it, over the years, there was nothing but horror with my kids, so just bare with me for the next week or so when i talk about how shocked i am about my kids.

as some of you know, my younger son was kicked out of kindergarting and sent to a different public school because they had that 'special' class.

he just couldnt sit still and his behaviors were off the charts, and they couldnt teach him...so they gave up!!!!!!!! (but i wont go there)

his new kindergartin teacher told us that he was not what she expected and he was learning and doing really well.

we really liked this teacher, she was young, but very tough....something i know my son responds better to..... (at least he responds to my DW better, because she is tougher then i...im still a freaking marshmello) but i digress.

well, come at the end of the year, he did pretty well and learned alot.

well, he is in second grade now, and i got a letter from his kindergartin teacher who asked if she could use my son because she is getting her masters and she would love to work with my son. (she always had a soft spot for him)

of course we said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i guess my point, is that someone actually wants to work with my kiddo, and who knows him.......

so needless to say, my son gets a little special tutoring, because this teacher picked my son to work with.

not sure what she is thinking....but i just put a big 'ol checkmark next to the YES...........

i must dreaming.....but dont wake me, im enjoying this dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pinch me, i must be dreaming

pinch me, i must be dreaming

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ok, my older son, came home on friday from school.

in his backpack, i read another perfect day (not surprised, since at home he feels 'safe' enough to let us know how he is really feeling... ..arent we lucky?.. )

but anyway, also in his backpack was 'student of the week' award, which is a huge deal!!!!!!!!

i remember last year when i went to pick up my younger son and over the loud speaker i heard "maryjane smith won student of the week this week"

and maryjane walked down to the office, got her award, and handshakes, and it was a huge thing.....

i remember sitting there feeling a little sad, thinking that my kids will never experience such a thing as that....

until...............

i am so stunned by this....im still in shock. he seems to make light of it, or forgot about it...but i keep telling everyone that i know that he won this....

im not sure if he wants me to, or if he even cares, but i can see a smile on his face when i tell someone.

i will never forget two years ago when i saw him get a little award in his class and i told him how proud i was of him and he asked me "what does proud mean?" because no one had ever said that to him before.

i think he gets it to a certain degree now, by the smile on his face.

he did tell me this morning though that the reason he 'tantrums' at home alot is because he doesnt like school...

however, he only tantrumed the first few days of the week at home after school...

I am trying to distract him the minute he gets in
the car.........

he also told me that the reason he hates his afterschool is because he misses us all day...

very sweet, but im not sure im buying into that yet....lol.
he can go so far until i start to get my guard my up..

oh, heres a biggy...

he wants to take violin lessons...

so we rented a violin for him and he already is practicing...

i just hope he doesnt get too frustrated and decide to smash it....those little things cost alot of money....


he promised me he wouldnt...

but if this music thing takes.....i would be so happy...he has his first lesson tomorrow...got my fingers crossed for this one.

practice makes perfect....sometimes

practice makes perfect...sometimes

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well, my older boys violin lessons started to day, i think im going to be learning violin myself because i have to practice with him.

he LOVED it. i realize its his first day, but he couldnt wait to come home and practice, and that he did, for 20 minutes...

he was pluking that violen like no ones business

thank god we have french doors on our dining room, because i was able to 'shut' the door, and watch him....

so we call our dining room the music room and we need to keep the doors closed so he disturb us, i mean, so he wont be disturbed...what was i thinking...

but so far so good, no frustration, was really enjoyin it and i also learned what an 'A' note is on violin.

one of these days, i will tell you when i was in 3rd grade i took violin lessons also......oh the horror!!!!!!!!!!

pinch me, am I dreaming?

pinch me, am i dreaming?

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ok, my older son, who most of you know, came home on friday from school.

in his backpack, i read another perfect day (not surprised, since at home he feels 'safe' enough to let us know how he is really feeling... ..arent we lucky?.. )

but anyway, also in his backpack was 'student of the week' award, which is a huge deal!!!!!!!!

i remember last year when i went to pick up my younger son and over the loud speaker i heard "maryjane smith won student of the week this week"

and maryjane walked down to the office, got her award, and handshakes, and it was a huge thing.....

i remember sitting there feeling a little sad, thinking that my kids will never experience such a thing as that....

until...............

i am so stunned by this....im still in shock. he seems to make light of it, or forgot about it...but i keep telling everyone that i know that he won this....

im not sure if he wants me to, or if he even cares, but i can see a smile on his face when i tell someone.

i will never forget two years ago when i saw him get a little award in his class and i told him how proud i was of him and he asked me "what does proud mean?" because no one had ever said that to him before.

i think he gets it to a certain degree now, by the smile on his face.

he did tell me this morning though that the reason he 'tantrums' at home alot is because he doesnt like school...

however, he only tantrumed the first few days of the week at home after school...

I am trying to distract him the minute he gets in
the car.........

he also told me that the reason he hates his afterschool is because he misses us all day...

very sweet, but im not sure im buying into that yet....lol.
he can go so far until i start to get my guard my up..

oh, heres a biggy...

he wants to take violin lessons...

so we rented a violin for him and he already is practicing...

i just hope he doesnt get too frustrated and decide to smash it....those little things cost alot of money....


he promised me he wouldnt...

but if this music thing takes.....i would be so happy...he has his first lesson tomorrow...got my fingers crossed for this one.

for a friend

for a friend

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hi all,
im posting this for a friend of mine with the hope of some of you more knowledagable people can help.

im cutting and pasting. Here goes:

I need help with an FAS/IEP situation.

My youngest daughter, B, has fetal alcohol syndrome. She came here as a foster child 2 1/2 years ago when she was 3 years old (adoption final this past April). With her FAS she has some qualities of ADHA such as extreme hyperness, complete lack of focus, no impulse control. She also has some qualities of Autism such as self mutilation (i.e. pulling her lip till it bleeds, digging at her sides, pulling her own hair, ect), rocking motions when stressed, and repetitive movements. I also think, but am not sure, that her random babbling (talking non-stop but making no sense at all) falls under the Autism qualities.

She stayed home with me the rest of that first school year and all summer. In the fall we enrolled her in headstart. They did an IEP on her and she qualified for both speech and OT. While in headstart I was repeatedly called to come and pick her up because they couldn't control her behavior. She has no cause and effect and to say she's impulsive would be a great under-exaggeration. She literally does what she thinks. So, it was a rather dismal learning year for her as far as preschool went. At the end of the school year I requested that they do another (forgot to mention the first one I had done) evaluation to see if she qualified for our local special ed school. This time she qualified and she was put into a special ed preschool.

One thing I did discover over the summer before she started was that caffeine has a serious counter effect on her and it will calm her down. Not calm and focused like your typical student, but very calm and very focused for B who is never calm and can never focus. So, she started the SE preschool and things went very well. They have one teacher for ever two students and B thrived in that environment. The caffeine also really helped. She almost completely stopped hurting herself and she started to make sense much of the time when she talked. She still had no cause and effect, no impulse control, and she still rocked. She did calm down and was able to focus and follow directions. About 1/2 way through the year they took her off the caffeine and she maintained her behavior. At the end of the school year they informed me she had done so well that she no longer qualified for SE preschool and would be starting regular kindergarten in the fall and still get speech and OT services at the regular school.

So, kindergarten started six days ago and today I had my first parent teacher conference about her behavior and abilities. She's lost, well beyond what is normal for a new kindergartner. She can't stand in line, she won't come in from recess, she can't figure out how to get through the lunch line unless someone walks her through it, ect ect ect. I had sent a vault pop on the first day, but the teacher hasn't used it yet. She's also started doing some serious rocking on the way home from school. What the teacher would like to do is put B down to young five's. Hubby and I think this is just sticking a band aid over a serious gash and all it's going to do is postpone the problem for one year.

So, here's some of the things we are thinking and/or the school is thinking.

1) Have the teacher start using the vault pop at school and see if it makes much of a difference. If not, have her doctor look into putting her on ADHD med's (her bio brother - FAE instead of FAS - takes them and it's been a miracle worker for him - but again, his symptoms aren't 1/2 as bad) and see if they can get her calm and focused.

2) This is the school. Put her back down to a young five's program or a before K program. Possibly send her back to headstart which will take her at her age. See if in a year she's better equipped to handle kindergarten.

3) And I'm hoping Lucy can help with me this! See if she qualifies for services under the Americans with disabilties act to see if we can get her her own aid for the classroom. She CAN focus and she CAN learn if she has no more than one adult per two children. She proved that in the SE preschool.

I would like to know what you guys think, would like any and all input, and would like any and all suggestions. They are setting up this meeting and I would love to be able to walk in there confident on what I want done. Otherwise, I fear B will just get pushed off to the side. I'm really worried for this little girl. She's going to fall through the cracks in the system and I really don't want to see that. She can't keep up with a regular classroom and she doesn't qualify for a special ed classroom. I can just see her getting further and further behind while her self esteem crashes to rock bottom. We already have to worry about sex and drugs as a teenager with her because she doesn't understand cause and effect, she's gullible beyond belief, and she has no impulse control. Add absolutely no self esteem to that, and I'm just scared for her. Please help!
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this cant be happening

this cant be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

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well, im starting to freak a little,

i picked up my older son from after school, and he had a big smile on his face and he said he had a good time. (he didnt have that anxiety face that i remember he usually had when i picked him up)

and i thought 'tthank god' first day of after school, and he is smiling

well, the minute he got in the car...blow out...

then it was time for homework....he asked for me to help, and so i said 'sure,' and sat down...

when i picked up the paper he started yelling at me and calling me...well, you know, those choice words.

i know he wasnt frustrated over the homework, because he didnt even look at it before going into a meltdown.

i told him "well, when you calm down, or when you say you are ready, i would be more then happy to start this over"

of course he yelled "he was ready" but he was far from ready.

not sure how to handle these blowouts, im ****ed if i do and ****ed if i dont (wonder if that wil be bleeped out... )

he did end up doing it after work with no problems. He did admit to me that he doest know whats going on in his class, which i believe. I wrote a note to his teacher telling her that it is a concern for him.

he usually has no problems with the homework, because he is petrified if he didnt do it, he would get in trouble.

so when i refused to help him, well, lets just say it didnt go over well.

any ideas....

oh, in case who dont know history...heres a little

this is my older sons first year after being in a RTC for 2 yrs, in a 'regular school' but he is in the 'special class'

he started last week and has gotten tons of praise from the teacher, not problems at all.

he started his after school yestereday for tthe first time, though he does like it, not sure if the day is too long....
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