stinky stink

Every morning before I go to work, I hit the Dunkin Dounuts. Every morning I order the same thing. "Number 3 please".

Is it that wrong to say "a number 3 please, and may I have the man make my coffee"?

It's not that I dont like women making my coffee, but they smell. They wear perfume to work. And it's not a particular nice smelling perfume, but who am I to judge. I'm sure alot of people like that smell. But that is not what this is about, its about the smell clinging on to everything. And yes, the smell clings on to the top of my coffee lid.

Every morning, the lid of my coffee smells like perfume!!. I dont want to smell anything, or taste anything for that matter, but my coffee. Is that asking to much?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those 'frangence free' people, you know THOSE kind of people. All I want, is what I am paying for, a cup of coffee that actually smells like coffee as I slowly take a sip, not some womens perfume, is that so wrong? Now before anyone calls me a sexist, if it was a guy who wore cologne, I would be complaining about the same thing, but in this specific Donkun Donuts, it's the women who wear perfume. (can't even believe I have to clarify this..)

They really should have people that work in those places, 'fragrence free'. Who knows, maybe I'm turning into one of THOSE fragrence free people. I hope not, I hate those people.

Well, there is my vent today. All I want is to get myself a nice hot cup of coffee without smelling someones 'stinky' before I take a sip. Is that asking to much? After all, I did pay for a cup of coffee and never asked them to put 'smelly' on top.

Well, apparently it is, since the women really do not like it when you request the man to make your coffee. Boy, everyone is so sensitive these days...does everyone need an explanation on why? It's dunkin donuts for petes sake....geeessssshhhhh.

more mosiacs

On to those mosicas again in Sunday School. What a nightmare. The kids got so dirty and sticky from all the grout. It seemed much easier when it was just my kids and myself. But to teach a bunch of kids, well, it got kinda messy.

The boys in the class of course were just having a ball. I dont mean that in a positive way. They were running up and down the halls with grout all over the hands threatening to smear on it people.

The girls of the class, did a great job. They finished their projects and couldnt wait to clean their hands....

But now I am stuck doing the rest by myself and cleaning up the kids projects because it was such a mess. It will take me a few days scrapping the grout off of each one because you cant even see the glass pieces they used so much grout...lol

Remind me never to fill in for the teacher again. I'm sure the parents weren't to keen on trying to get the glue and grout off their kids fingers....lol.

Reminds me when I was doing ceramics in school. I was working on the pottery wheel and I was making a porcelain bowl. Well, I wasnt very good at it, and I always took the last wheel in the corner, figurinng it was safe there and I could just blend in. So there I was, in the corner, with the coat rack.

Well, I was spinning away madly with my porcelain and then my friend next to me said "uh, John, look at the coats"....you see, alot of artists like black coats. And well, porcelain is white.

I looked up, and all over those dark coats, were splatters of white porcelain clay.

So I slowly got my coat and headed out the door and didnt say a word.

Now, if any of them are reading this, I'm sure they are cursing me right now.

But it was my last week at Sunday School, the teacher comes back next week and I'm better at just 'helping out'...

I have to sit alone.....

i know this is probably more common then i think, but i cant even sit and watch tv with the kids because they fight over who will sit next to me.

I know it sounds weird, but the minute i sit down, then one yells "im sitting next to daddy"...then they both get up and race, and it actually gets physical.

so i basically get up and sit by myself. (in the hard uncomfortable chair..... )

i have tried timing, but then it goes into this "im first' argument.

it really is bothering me. I get the 'not enough love to go around' stuff, but knowing why it is happening, just doesnt seem to be enough.....lol

so what have others done, it really is driving me crazy. Its not like i dont spend alot of time with them, i spend tons of time with them.

what have others done, im sure this is a common problem, but with kids with loss issues to boot, not sure how to handle it.

bossy behavior

ive been so busy with the adoption and all that great stuff. But i need some advice.

My older son has been very bossy and disrepectful. He 'demands' our time when he needs us, and it's starting to wear thin.

If he losses something, he tells us we have to help him find it.

"I'll help you after I finish the dishes" doesnt work for him...he goes into this "you never help me"..."you dont love me"..."your so mean".....crap.

then he starts screaming that someone 'stole' the thing he is looing for...

then i say
"if you keep talking to me like that, I wont help you at all"

then he has a major meltdown, and well, we dont help him,

how can i change this behavior. he has been doing this for so long and im just plan sick of it.

I know i havnt been as active here as before, but if there is any advice that any of you have to stop this behavior, i would appreciate it.

we are on a 'chip' system (reward system) and when he is disrepectful, we take away chips....the system does work with most things, but not this.

I'm not buying that he is being 'trauma reactive' anymore.....because sometimes, when I look at him while he is yelling like a crazy person, i start to laugh, and pending on his mood, he sometimes will laugh to realizing how 'crazy' this is.

I know that in his past, his screaming has gotten him what he wants by all everyone, but not here, but it doesnt seem to register to him that it doesnt work anymore. how many years of this will it take to compute that we are not helping him when he yells like this? .

adoption day

i just wanted to share the good news that my older son will be adopted on may 24.

as most know, we have been through hell and back with him, and well, its time.

the last few months have actually been very hard due to him testing, but lately he seems to have settled in now, and believes that this is actually going to happen.

i really havnt been on the forum all that much in the last year, but life happens. I just wanted to share with you guys the good news.

i wish i could say id like to end the post there, but well, things might be great for my older son. My younger son, when they fight, cries and says he doesnt want us to adopt our older son.

I know its because he is angry at him, at that moment, but my older son gets really sad when his brother says it.

I have talked to my younger son, but when he is mad, well, he is mad. Of course within the next hour, they are 'brothers' again, and life is back to normal.

but im wondering what is really going on? has anybody had this kind of situation where the sibling is flip floppy on adoption of their sibling.

im sure its common, and i think i get it, but it kills me to see my older sons face when he says it.

anyway, as for more of an update.....

my older son has gotten student of the month a few times, and my younger son, got the principle award last month, which is pretty huge in his school.

we took him off clonidine, he was on such a low dose and only took it at night, but im wondering if that is what it was.

he still is an anxious kid, but who knows. maybe he also is settling in.

Tics

I have a question, and I figured id put it out here. My older son is currently on tenex and risperdal.

about 1 month ago we were playing around and he hurt his neck...not bad, but clearly something happened.

He seemed fine and it was no big deal.

about 3 days later i started to notice that he would swich (is that a word) his head and neck, like how people crack their knuckles....to get the 'kinks' out sort of speak.

well, i brought him to the doctor who examined him (no x-ray) and said that he pulled a mscl in his neck, and he will be fine. just rest and motrin.

well, he is still doing it. He seems to be doing more and more.

I talked to the nurse at school and she said that it looks like a 'tic'.

So, I'm wondering, can any of these meds cause tics. I checked on the computer and apparently risperdol helps tics...

Ill take him back to the doctor next week, but i figured id put this out there if anyone has ever heard of this before.

feeling hopeless

both my kids find words or saying that cause people to jump. weather its a control issue or whatever it is.

Ive been trying so hard not to jump on anything they say as it gives them 'power' when they say it.

i understand its a serious threat, so ill jump, but i hope it doesn't send him back now. its such a tough call.

if he did use it for attention, then he will continue to use it as i 'reacted' to it.

hope you guys are right on this one, if not i just screwed myself for some regression.......

God i hate making these kinds of decisions...why cant they just understand that using certain language is not appropriate and then move on....the minute i give any weight to anything they say, its like a mantra for the next few months.

but what are you going to do, just feeling really kinda sad.....ill call his therapist this morning, shes new, so like most therapist, she will take everything he says seriously.....

how does therapy help kids in the long run.....anyone have any idea?...he plays, and she follows his lead, and then they discuss.....but my kids are really seeing it as playing.

i guess i get pist a little because my boys, even though they have issues, still cant be boys. boys are so full of energy yet when they bring that energy into the building they are suffering from anxiety.

the psych from my younger son he is clearly real anxious and we need to up his dose on his meds.

i told her that he becomes a zombie, and i rather continue to use it just for his sleep because he has been doing great in school. I also told her that when he comes to any kind of therapy he gets real anxious because they always ask about his brother...and he thinks that if he says anything wrong they will take his brother away (and for good reason, since this has happened numerous times in our home and they were separated for 3 yrs due to the same stuff before us.)

she said, well, he is anxious, and wants us to try it.

so i decided to try it, because sometimes i do question myself....guess who just stood there at his class recital? He just stood there and this was not from stage fright, it was him just kinda in a zombie effect.

plus, he hasn't been doing well in school again, i have been getting the calls. So i took him off the morning dose.

sorry for venting, I'm in such a hopeless state lately. Im starting to get real tired again, trying to figure them out.

as you can tell, i am questioning therapy again. every time i bring them, its the same crap, my kids are messed up.....but i hate it that i cant say 'well, my 'normal' son does this, can anything be normal about my kids, or will they always be messed up and everything they say or do needs to b e analyzed as such "

just feeling hopeless and feeling very sad for my kids...it appeared to me that wee have come so far, but the experts keep telling me that there are so many issues....

just not knowing what the right thing to do is...i hate this kind of position, I'm damned if i do and damned if i don't.....