im clueless

im clueless

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hi all,

i need advice and i am truly at a stand still.

my younger son has been acting out alot at school...we have a meeting today to discuss his IEP and his acting out.

as most know, our older son, his bio sib has been disrupted due to behaviors but we are still in his life, in all accounts, still his family.

the whole family visits our older son each sunday for dinner.

heres what i am torn about...i realize that there is sibling regression after visits...

but could his acting out be because of these visits?...should i put the visits on hold for a little while? should i bring him maybe every other week vs every week?

when i tell him "today were going to visit 'N', he say she doesnt want to go, the drive is too long....

but im wondering if there is something else going on with him.

his therapist wants to wait a few more weeks and see how it goes, but i really dont think they are going to be many changes in his behavior.

i really am at a stand still...he knows his brother isnt coming back, but im not sure if these visits are confusing him. we have talked to him, but the regression, especially on mondays, after the sunday visit, are getting more and more diffulcult.

i had chalked it up as just being a monday, but now im wondering....

any ideas or suggestions...

hitting and kicking

hitting and kicking

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hi all,

well, my 6 yr old child is having some problems at school. It has been reported that he has been hitting and kicking other kids for no apparent reason.

october is tough for him anyway, he was removed from birth mom on holloween and his birth mom tried to scare them with witches, owls, and the devil. So there are alot of those hanging up for holloween.

this is no excuse, but i have no idea on how to stop it. I understand that this time of year is hard for him, and i do have empathy.....but its still no excuse.

today he wouldnt go on the bus, he says he hates school but doesnt know why.

also, he gets mad at me when i pick him up early from school, because he says i pick him up to early and he wants to stay at school and have fun.

so i know he DOES like it, he just gets in the moods.

the principle wants a meeting on wednesday to discuss this and i have no idea what to do.

i talked to his pscyh and she said for us to give him the clonidine during the day as well as at night.

so i gave him the clonidine on saturday, 1/4 of it,(very small dose) and he was so zombied out that it was hard to watch. He wasnt talking, just going through the day.

yes, he is more calmer, but hes so lathargic that i dont want to put him on it so i didnt give it to him on sunday or today.

anyway, i threw alot out there.

how do prevent the hitting and kicking other kids? He is a little hyper and he doesnt think before he acts.

basically, if we get a report from school, then his bike goes in time out for the day....(he loves his bike).

but it doesnt seem to be working.

he doesnt do it everyday, maybe 2-3 times a week.

i know some out there had these issues before, how do you stop it.

yea!!!!!!

yea!!!!

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well, good news and bad...they are seeing my sons issues, as most know...and they finally are getting a 'rogers' ready for court for him so he can go on a anti-psycotic.

they stated what we had been saying for 2 yrs now, that when he gets in that state, there is nothing that can be done about it...

they are lookng into scizophrenia also, becuase he says he does hear things and sees things....we knew this, but everyone said that its due to truama....

they said clearly he has PTSD and a language processing issues, but they are looking into other things due to how responds to certain things.

they called it 'psychotic states'....they feel that he goes into these psychotic states but they are not clear on what causes it due to his age.

the doctor did give him zyprexia once due to they just couldnt control him....and it seemed to calm him down, but they are not saying it was the zyprexia, but they are not discounting it either.

anyway, im glad they are finally listening to us, and understanding that his behaviors are just not normal...

the fact that he is only 8, leaves them unable to dx, but they are now willing to try things.

its been a long hard road for this child...im hoping they can help him so he can have some sort of peace from the demons in his head...

now my new fight....they may place my son in the group home that he was in when he was with us...i promised him that he wouldnt have to go to that place again....thats when he was living with us...

it all falls on DSS now....its an awful place...even santa didnt come at the christmas party.....he was suppose too...but didnt make it....too bad kiddies...maybe next year...

dont get me started on that....

and how many times does the staff yell at these kids...every time ive been there...i cant imagine whats it like if a parent isnt there......

they found a good place for him, which is closer to our house...but the list is long...so they will have to see...they feel that his old group home knows him and that will be good....

which i know it wont be good...

after my son had breakdowns...or should i say 'psycotic states'...he begged me not to bring him too that group home

im going to call his GAL and see if she/he will listen to us.......he just cant go back there!!!!!! it will be the worst thing for him.

anyway...theres the good and the bad.....the struggles continues...

is it me?

is it me?

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ok...im pissed again......my son had his class pictures yesterday.....you know the ones im talking about.

well, we put his check in the little envelope, they need it on the day of pictures, and when he came home, the check was still in the back pack.

i went to parent-teacher conference last night and asked why my son had come home with the check...i thought they needed it for the day of pictures.

she said "they do, i checked all the kids backpacks but couldnt find my sons"

she said "i will call and see if there is anything we can do"

at first i wanted to yell.....because not only was the check in his backpack...i had a big thick envelope addressed to the nurse with his medical stuff in it...there is no way she could of missed that envelope....that was still in his backpack too when he got home.

i think she just forgot to look in my sons backpack.

so, hopefully they can do something......i dont want to see his face on the day all the kids get their pictures and my son is sitting there not getting his......

could we just getta a break here....

maybe its me...maybe im expecting too much....do others have these constant 'mistakes'.......and im just over sensitive....or are these things just happening to us and my kids....

i need a break...

lawyers

lawyers

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hi all,

ill try to make this quick....as most of you know, we are preadoptive parents of two boys.

they have been with us for over 2 yrs....we decided due to our older sons issues, that we werent going to legalize like most within the six month trial period.

we wanted to make sure he was getting all the services that he needed.

they have been pushing (not to hard) for us to legalize our younger son but we wanted to hold off on him too because i cant imagine how our older son would of reacted had we only adopted his brother and not him...

well, as you know, due to our older sons issues, we had too disrupt the adoption and we are full swing ahead on legalizing our younger one now.

i got a call from our childrens social worker who said that she went to court and talked to our kids lawyer.

he stated that he wants to meet the kids and see what we are like....she told me that she has no idea why he wants to do this and she is just giving us a heads up that he might be calling.

do i need to be concerned with this? has this ever happened to anyone?

i know he will see a loving family so im not concerned with that....i think...but she doesnt know and of course we dont know, why he wants to see us.

has this ever happened to anyone? just freaking out over here.

birth mother

birth mom

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hi all,

i am acutally wondering what to do....

I just found out where my childrens birth mom lives...we have never met her, i do have an old picture of her, but thats it.

she lives about 1 1/2 hours away.......

well, i guess you figured out where my mind is going.

i want to drive down to see what she looks like in person...not to talk, or even be noticed...just kinda get a glimpse then be on my way.

basically i want to see what my childrens birth mom looks like....

i even printed out the directions on map quest....

i feel like a stalker, but i just want a glimps, she is my kids birthmom....

do i sound like a whaco?......what would other do?....

ive always been curious but never had an address and never tried to track her down or anything...but now i have an address and my curiosity is getting worse.

has anyone felt like this?....has anyone did this?....after seeing it written down, it sounds like im deranged....but i just want a glimpse.

todays the day

todays the day

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i just got a message last night to tell me that they are telling my son that he wont be returning home.

i just want to hold him when they give him the news, but i cant.

its killing me.....didnt sleep at all last night thinking about it...i hope they know what they are doing....I just felt like calling them and saying...."please..your making a terrible mistake, put him on the risperdol and let him come home in case it works...." but they wont..they made up their minds...this stinks!!!!!

yesterday i brought my younger son to his orientation of kindgerten...he was so nervous....

of course when we got there...all the chairs and tables were taking where the kids are making a drawing....so we had to go to the back of the room, where a table was without the crayons and paper and sit and wait......i felt like such an outsider.

the teacher was going around taking pictures of the kids, individual to put up on the board...but my son didnt want his picture taken....he had his shy face on...

then as the time went on...i got him coloring and trying to get him involved....we stayed while other parents and their kids left....i just wanted him to feel comfortable..and i thought that with less people in the room, he could take it all in...

then, he finally agreed to get his picture taken..so we went up to the teacher and I said that he is ready to take his picture now...

I wasnt pushing the picture on him, i just didnt want him left out...(my issue probably.)

when she took the picture....she said "oppppssss,,,out of film..sorry...can you bring in a picture of him tomorrow...."

i was so angry...how can you run out of film...so today...guess what?...my son stands out again...all the kids have a picture of themselves from an automatic camera on their first day of school and my son has a regular picture of him, surronded by pumpkins in a pumpkin patch from last october......

i feel my kids just cant get a break....i know it seems like a little thing, as im sure his teacher thought it was no big deal...im sure my son didnt even give it a second thought.....

why do i feel so lousey inside when it comes to my kids...why cant we just have a day like every other family?

why cant my kids just get a break...

im obviously a little sensitive today....

anyway, just thought id vent...